View Full Version : 101 Reason, why I didn't send you a Christmas Card
Sparrowhawk
12-20-04, 02:22 PM
101. I wrote "free" on the envelope, just like I did when I was in Nam and the post office returned it to me.
100. I forgot your name!
99. My tongue is sore so, I couldn't lick the envelope.
98. The price of stamps is more then an E-mail card.
97. It's in the mail.
96. What does Postage Due, mean?
Osotogary
12-20-04, 02:34 PM
Did you ever hear of the term "sub-contracting"?
You've been giving gifts all year round I don't need a card from you..........I could use some stamps if you have 'em. LOL
airframesguru
12-20-04, 02:55 PM
95. My dog ate my addy book
94. You watched Farenhiet 9/11
93. Pen ran out of ink
92. Gary took all of my stamps
91. Moved to Utah with Gary to practice poligamy and I'm just to busy
90. Cook hasn't sent me a stack of cards
89. The post office said I couldn't use Joe@yahoo.com
88. All of my cards were deemed politically incorrect as they refferenced God
87. ..... Next
marinemom
12-20-04, 04:11 PM
86. I am positive that I wrapped the cards in one of the Christmas packages.
85-Put the stamp on upside down.
84-Forgot my return address.
83-All my cards quarenteened.....licked them with my tonge.
Sgt AnnieMae
12-20-04, 05:10 PM
82. Got into an argument with the Mailman and he put them in the trash!
81. Used a smiley face stamp
80. Wrote AIR MAIL instead
79- Wore a flack vest into the post office.
78. Must have mailed it to the gas company instead.
77. As I was walking to mail box, a hawk dove down and snatched it from my hand and flew away with it.
SSgtOfMarines
12-20-04, 09:20 PM
76. I really don't like your dumb arse
75. Addressed all my cards in pig latin this year.
74. No POW/MIA stamps.
Sparrowhawk
12-20-04, 10:11 PM
73. The post office stamped it "Return to Sender"
72. You didn't send me a card last year.
71. You reminded me of my Mother-In-Law
70. You are my Mother-In-Law.
69. The snow flakes I enclosed melted and smeared your address, so it was returned to me.
68. I couldn't remember which of last years card I had send you, so I didn't want to send you the same card two years in a row.
67. My dog ate your Christmas Card.
66. I really, really don't like you.
65. I send it to your wife instead.
64. I donated the amount of your Christmas Card to charity in your name.
63. I left your card at the office and they are now closed for the Holidays.
62. I wrote another person's address on the back your Christmas card envelope and they got your card instead.
61. It was on my desk and I thought it was a bill, so I tore it up by accident.
60. I kept misspelling your last name, and ran out of envelopes.
59. Your small town mailman returned it saying the smith's live in the white house, that you live in a gray house and so the address was wrong.
58. Your small town mailman said, a person by the name of "Occupant" now lives at your former address.
57. Forgot to put the card in the envelope.
woodman
12-20-04, 11:42 PM
56. Uncle Bob got drunk, thought it was a pop tart, and put it in the toaster
DSchmitke
12-21-04, 05:11 AM
55. Post office ran out of stamps.
airframesguru
12-21-04, 06:31 AM
54. Too busy inspecting Ms. Ellies girls
53. n.c. gal distracted me (put your shirt back on)
52. Too hard to do all of the cards, got 3 paper cuts, tired of the govmt raising stamp prices so I threw them over the WH fence.
51. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that I sent one to everyone I "cared" for. Hmmm
50. Licked all of the glue off of the stamp (this stuff is better than Elmers!)
49. Packers were on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
48. See #76
47. My teenager used the envlopes for rolling papers.
46. I thought you were comming to pick it up.
45. Thats what you get for sleeping with my wife. Bas*&rd!!!!!!!!!!!
Namvet67
12-21-04, 08:14 AM
44. Used a FPO address and wrote free where the stamp goes.
Sparrowhawk
12-21-04, 08:16 AM
43. I am waiting for you to pay me the money you owe me.
42. I sealed the envelope before I found your address.
41. I saved myself 37 cents by placing your Christmas Card in your mail box, without a stamp. The post office returned it and said it was a federal offense so, I'll try again next year.
40. I didn't have the money I owe you, so I didn't want you to think, I have money to send Christmas Cards out.
airframesguru
12-21-04, 08:30 AM
39. Gunny said if I have time to write I have tome to clean rifles.
38. A camel ate it
37. (*&((((&*&&^^& Napalm!
36. I swear! it wasin the same envelope as the check!
Sgt AnnieMae
12-21-04, 09:46 AM
35. The mailman lost his last nerve and took his shotgun and shot everyone!! Sorry to say...the Christmas cards didn't make it either. :(
airframesguru
12-21-04, 09:56 AM
34. (Work with me on this) Because I am a dislexic, agnostic, insomniac, I've been up all night wondering if there was a Dog. Sorry, this has taken all of my time.
54. I was in a mental hospital
53. I didn't know who I was (thus the reason for the hospital visit)
53 and 54? looks like I can't count either...another reason to be in a hospital...LOL
Sgt AnnieMae
12-21-04, 10:42 AM
30...(I think)
The Grinch that stole Christmas also stole the Christmas cards!
29. with my shirt off, airframesguru startled me and I accidentally dropped your card in toilet.
28. I used your card to line the bird cage.
27. didn't know what zip code you were in.
Sgt AnnieMae
12-21-04, 11:34 AM
26. I gave your card to my dog as a chew toy for Christmas!
25. Sent by pony express last year should be on time.
DSchmitke
12-21-04, 12:24 PM
24. The wind caught and the snowplow drivers pushed it down the road.
23. I mailed it to a friend in Alaska and he will send it to you by dog sled.
22. I sent it thru the Polar Express.
21. Santa found out you had been naughty.
54. It's in the Battalion mail.
airframesguru
12-21-04, 01:57 PM
20. After I startled nc gal I slipped on the tiles (near the toiliet) and broke my wrist, should have taken the cuffs off first (OOOPS did I say that out loud?)
19. I'm waiting to get one from YOU!
18. Freezing rain jammed my mailbox and the mailman couldn't get it open.
17. The mailbox is 20ft from the house, my house arrest ankle devise is only set for 19ft.
Sparrowhawk
12-21-04, 02:01 PM
16. My secretary went to mail your Christmas card, it was cold outside, when she licked the envelope and her tongue is still stuck to it.
http://marines.bizland.com/card20.jpg
airframesguru
12-21-04, 02:08 PM
15. Due to a powdery substance found on my cards they have been confiscated...... Only to find out later that it was snow.
14. Money is tight, and times are hard, consider THIS your F'n christmas card
airframesguru
12-21-04, 02:10 PM
COOK,
Sir, you better have a doozie for #1. I'm counting on ya.
Mike
13. After freeing airframesguru from cuffs,we searched the house for more cards and there were not any.
12. lost your address, did you say it was in care of the county jail?
airframesguru
12-21-04, 02:18 PM
12. Had to go to the store with nc gal to get more cards, got cold and went to the liquor store insted. I feel toasty ;-)
Ok Toby I can't count either
Sparrowhawk
12-21-04, 03:12 PM
you'll enjoy the no. 1
reason I didn't send you a Christmas Card....
LMAO
11. I was going to type a beautiful envelope, but my computer would not tell me where the "any key" was located and I would have sealed it with a kiss.
Sgt AnnieMae
12-21-04, 03:20 PM
11. If we can't count down on this post...what makes you think we can put a stamp on an evelope, put the address and send it off? That would be too complicated :)
10. I don't want some......
I have any (?????)
9. I live in INTERCOURSE, PA. Your card was confiscated by the Moral Majority.
Sparrowhawk
12-21-04, 03:32 PM
8. I’m sending you a Christmas present instead.
7. The Gingerbread scented Christmas Card was eaten by your mailman
6. The dog peed on your Christmas Card, and the postman wouldn’t pick it up
5. The X-Rated photo card I send you was returned with the word “CENSORED” stamped on it by the post office
4. They don’t allow inmates to receive Christmas cards in prison
3. I couldn’t get the animated Christmas Card I downloaded and printed for you to move on paper.
2. Jerry Shaffer erased my return name and address and send it out with his name instead.
Sparrowhawk
12-21-04, 03:32 PM
I didn't send you a Christmas Card..
No. 1. Get real would you send a Christmas Card to this person?
http://marines.bizland.com/mirrorChristmascard.jpg (http://marines.bizland.com/card1a.jpg)
CLICK ON CARD
LMAO
HardJedi
12-21-04, 03:37 PM
LORD! ( sigh) LOL
Sparrowhawk
12-21-04, 03:40 PM
you really can see your picture on that Christmas card mirror image...
Humm, ahhh
you just have to get in real close to the monitor... LMAO
femalemarine_89
12-21-04, 04:32 PM
some of yall need to learn to count.. oh and by the way Sgt AnnieMae.. you did 11 twice.. ROFLMAO.. these are too funny yall..
"niked" pic of me?
Don't think airframesguru is ready for that one yet!! LOL
You know, some of these reasons if you would just imagine
in your mind are really hilarious.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
nc.gal
;)
femalemarine_89
12-21-04, 09:47 PM
Yeah they are.. Me and my husband sat here and read them all and laughed the whole way thru
airframesguru
12-22-04, 12:02 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by nc.gal
[B]"niked" pic of me?
Don't think airframesguru is ready for that one yet!! LOL
Maybee not! But it wouldn't hurt to try
:D :D
Good one Cook! #1 was a sure winner.
Sempers,
Mike
femalemarine_89
12-22-04, 09:18 PM
hmm i dont know if i can compete with the reasons why i didnt send an xmas card.. i sent all that i had to the people that i wanted to get them... LOL
Originally posted by Sparrowhawk
you really can see your picture on that Christmas card mirror image...
Humm, ahhh
you just have to get in real close to the monitor... LMAO
;)
Cook, I got reeaallllllllllllll close-----it wasn't "niked" pic of me,
but looked a whole lot like airframesguru :D
I just looked again and yep, it's him. LMAO