PDA

View Full Version : Seeing there so much going on about PTSD



MillRatUSMC
12-17-04, 05:31 AM
Could some now serving or who have served in Iraq, write something like this?
These were answers to questions on a questionnaire, I did not write the question because it would take too much space.
My Military History in Vietnam

After awhile we learn that life was too short
and death came very quick.
You could be here today
in the next few hours you could be gone!

So you did not get too tight with anyone
to avoid heart ache.

We all had fear, but you had to function,
in spite of the fear.
If you did not have fear either
you were dead or insane!

Wars are all the same,
Death does not care who he take,
young, or old,
and in war,death is seldom pretty
in fact it is quite nasty.

My opinion of the war change,
after we started to lose men to mines
and endless stupid operations
Where all we did was walk around in the sun.
Then when we lost the M14, it started to sink in that we were just there so some sorry butt holes back home could make some money.
All we were doing was dying.

So all you did was try to survive as best you could.

On clearing air space on our departure
from Vietnam;
All hell broke loose, because we knew we were never going to come back to that hellhole, but Vietnamese knew that our bodies were leaving but our minds would always be there.

I had started to drink to excess
so I could go to sleep.
I had started to fight and argue with those
that did not understand what we had done or seen.
There was really no one that I could speak to about my experiences in Vietnam,
so I drank to forget.

Effects;
Good and Bad?
Those would be hard to answer.

We cherish everything that we now have.

I think would be a good effect
from when we had very little.

Re-acting to loud noises, because one day in 1965 a round cracked past my ear, I knew that I had come close to getting killed that day.
The smell of fireworks
because they remind me of the night
that young Lance Corporal died
and I had to call a medevac to take his body out
and we started to receive incoming fire
and I answered with mortars and machine gun fire
that got me in trouble.

Productive time since Vietnam?
You try to live your life as best you can,
because you have seen the worst.
Everything now is all gravy!

A few words from me to you
All that was written years past
and on reading them now.
Reminds me
that I served with many outstanding young men
that did what they were asked to do.

Many have came back with their physical and mental state forever changed by their service in Vietnam.

They seek no monetary or personal rewards
but a few words of Thanks from kin and folk.

That we did not receive when we came home.

I only ask a favor of you...
take a moment of every week or month
to REMEMBER those that are listed
as Prisoner Of War/Missing In Action,
Killed In Action and Wounded In Action

From a time that many of us
cannot ever break out from.

Our minds are still back in Vietnam.

These memories were answers to questions a friend gave me to answer when I was being treated for my PTSD...

Would I do things different knowing the outcome of my service?
I don't believe I would...would I caution any of the hazards of serving...than we would have none would served, sacrifice comes in many shapes and forms...

I placed these here to show you
what many endured
for I'm only a copy of many that served in Vietnam...regardless of where you served...
your mental state was forever changed...

Semper Fidelis/Semper Fi
Ricardo aka The Dusty Footer "ALL THE WAY!!!"
The 5th Marines lead the 1st Marine Divison
"The Old Breed"

PS
We went into Iraq because of Weapons of Mass Destruction, which has been proven to be false, we now struck in war that almost like a war of attrition.
I think the Nation would be well served if someone came clean on why we went into Iraq.
So the military could see the why of it and why so many had to die or be wounded.
From Vietnam, that why many came away seeking answers to the madness that we subject to.
Many read the names of our dead in Iraq like a box score, only those having family or friends really care.
Lately I been thinking the new Iraq will have an enemy with a nuclear bomb or bombs in Iran and another enemy on the other side in Syria.
Will we leave enough so it can defend itself or will we be required to leave a present to deter an attack by either of these two?
A question begging for an answer!
Madness would be taking on Iran.
From the above, I was once a member of 1st Bn 5th Marines "All the Way!"

Sparrowhawk
12-17-04, 07:22 AM
The question is always there.....
the answers are not
We search for the truth
and its not there
I wrote what is below today
after reading what you shared
from that shadow world I visit from time to time

Semper Fi


<hr>

A couple of Years Ago and Still
Living in that Shadow World of Life
by Cook Barela
December 17, 2004




I sat in the dentist chair
Mouth wide open
The dentist drill working near my gum line
Bone pieces being scraped away

Smoke from his drill was there
For only a fleeing second
But in those moments of life
When time stands still
It all came together

As the planes dropped their napalm
And the enemy, villagers and small children
Fled, while their bodies burned in hell
And I found a smell to dread


It all comes together so very fast
The smell of death and destruction
Bones, flesh and blood
The smell of hot blood burning in my mind

So I got off the dentist chair
And walked away
And he didn't understand
Why I was angry that day
And I didn't know why
And no one understood why


The television was on to a simple story
CSI the story of science and life
And on the table was the body
Of a victim of death and destruction
It was Corporal Hullihen killed by
The hand of man, so many years ago
His body torn apart and my wife didn't understand why
Such a simple show would repulse me so

And I was angry all day
And I didn't know why
And no one understands




http://vietnamdiary.bizland.com/cook65.jpg




I was on my knees
Working in the Garden of My Delight
The smell of fresh clean roses
Fresh flowers blooming
A beautiful spring day

I scraped away the decaying plants
And wet soil from their base
Stinging wet droplets of perspiration
From my forehead, dropped slowly
They made their way from my forehead
To the edges of my eyes
Stinging with their salty embrace

And the smell of sweat and decaying plants
The smell of death and destructions in the
Jungles of Vietnam were found there
In the garden of my delight


And I was angry all day
And I didn't know why
And no one understood why



So we go on with life in this shadow world
Of death and destruction
Where angels and demons are all the same
Saint or sinner what’s the plan
It all comes together in the end

Osotogary
12-17-04, 09:18 AM
In memorium to the lost souls who are never really lost. Thank you both. Thank you all.
Gary

Phantom Blooper
12-17-04, 10:42 AM
I posted this last Christmas day and it still stands true for me today. Semper-Fi! Chuck Hall



I’ve heard of something called closure

And I have heard of people seeking closure



I have put some thought to this “closure” and what it is to me...

~

What is closure and why do some seek it?



Will closure lessen the memories and the pain?



Does closure right the wrongs?



Is closure when they are no longer a presence in our hearts and minds?



Is closure when they no longer visit your resting place or memorials?



Is closure when they no longer remember you or what you did?



Is closure the Holy Grail?

~

Closure for some is when you have received your last rights



Closure for some is when they read your obituary in the paper



Closure for some is when they have thrown the last handful of dirt on your casket and everyone walks away



Closure for some is when they have scattered your ashes to the winds & seas



Closure for some is when they have set your tombstone



Closure for some is when they have moved on and get on with their lives without you

~

For those Marines, Sailors & Soldiers that sacrificed and were killed in Beirut, Lebanon



Those that were my Brothers – in – arms, my leaders, my mentors, my comrades, my friends...



I do not seek closure, nor do I want closure for them or me...



I want them, their sacrifices, their honor and their memories forever and always to be remembered and honored...



For they deserve more than closure... they deserve to be honored and remembered for eternity.

Twenty Christmas’s later I am not willing to close on this chapter of my life. Twenty Christmas’s later my lost brothers and their families are not as fortunate as mine. I celebrate this day with my family because of the “Reason for the Season” and this is the correct thing to do. But always in my mind I also celebrate for my brothers that could not be with their families. On this Christmas present I am always visited by the ghosts of Christmas past. After this lease on life is over, I pray that closure may come when I am visited one day by the ghost of future Christmas’s, and not by the ghost of the many Christmas's past. "Merry Christmas my brothers!"
Semper-Fi! "Never Forget" Chuck Hall

:marine:

d c taveapont
12-17-04, 05:45 PM
There is NO end to war....once you live it you smell it.hear it.see it. then comes the bad days. the tears.the sadness. and on the other side you remember the GOOD times. the laughter.....i myself have learned to make friends with the ghosts of my past.....and to look forward to each new sunrise.....and most of all my family....