i don't get it!!!

[Amanda]

Relationships in the Marines seem to last about ohhh... 5 minutes. I have noticed so many Marines with a negative view of relationships and how "wifes can be replaced" its disapointing if you ask me.

It makes me wonder, Before a man goes to boot camp and while he is in, he hopes that his girl won't forget him, and worries that his girl will cheat on him. Then if they don't and they remain faithfull, many Marines turn around and repay them by running around on them. Don't get me wrong, i know many women are unfaithfull. But when a man shows enough love and dedication to choose his ring over his finger, it seems that he would be encouraged, not laughed at. Could someone please explain.

amanda

[drillinstructor]

yes let me explain...a wife of a Marine is the toughest thing you could imagine. Long deployments, work, work and then back to work. The Marine Corps is first no matter how you look at it. Althought the mans heart is for his wife to be first, it does not work like that. The woman cant handle it and stuff falls apart. The backbone of the Marine is a good woman. They are out there, but there are only a very few that can stick with it. If you have never expeirenced it then you will never understand. You can talk about love and all that good stuff, but reality is expeirencing the tials and tribulations you must go through. Remember when I leave for a long time I go away with my family (Marine Family) The woman is left back with no hubby and hopefully a neighbor friend. The Marine Wife....you gotta love em....

[TracGunny]

beats the hell out of me why some relationships work and others don't... I decided that it was either the Corps or family... I could not see how total commitment to both could work... so I stayed single...

http://www.usmc-mccs.org/MCFTB/fa_te_build_main.html

http://marinefeatures.subportal.com/health/Love_Sex_Relationships/Marriage/index.html

http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12490

The Marine Wife, the hardest job in the Corps... add Marine girlfriend as a very close second...

personally, I believe it is completely up to the two individuals involved as to whether a relationship will work or not... in or out of the Corps... and the Corps just makes a great excuse for one or the other, or even both, involved...

[Underleft]

My wife and I have had no problem at all. It's hard on both of us but I would say it's harder on her. My command always tells me that my wife comes first and if there is any problem that she comes first. As Marines we all know that even if that is the case its not always possible however. It's a teamwork thing. She has to understand how everything works. Especially when you get in a leadership position. My neighbor is a mech and that Marine is never home. He pretty much works every weekend and I never see him come home at night because I'm always asleep before he gets home. They do fine because they have an understanding. I admit that being Infantry when I'm home I have a lot of free time. Sometimes so much I don't know what to do with it. But when it comes to deployment thats a whole different story and thats when it gets hard. I would totaly agree that Marine wife is the hardest job in the Corps but being a Drill Instructor's Wife seems crazy. Thats like being the Seargent Major of the Marine Wives!

[greensideout]

When I returned from Nam I got married. Still married to the bride and love of my life. How did that happen?

The fact is, my bride hated the Marine Corps for always taking me away. The first year of marriage, my 4th year in the Corps was less then she expected and wanted. She thought I should spend more time with her then the Corps---(not a Marine Wife in the making---lol)

The real deal. I was FMF. I was most always gone for training and/or the things we do.

I loved the Corps! I loved her! Had to choose.

I went for the good look'in babe and we lived happily ever after. (did miss the Corps though. ;))

[mrbsox]

I just passed my 25th anniverssary of my DD214, but the Corps is still in my blood. My wife (of 14+ years) knows that, respects it, and even supports it..... at times.

Sometimes it gets in OUR way. Recently, my mind, and heart, have been in Iraq with our brothers. It has gotten in OUR way. She resents me being preoccupied with the news, leatherneck.com, gun shows, etc.... it's in my blood. It's tough on her.

Amanda wrote {Don't get me wrong, i know many women are unfaithfull. But when a man shows enough love and dedication to choose his ring over his finger, it seems that he would be encouraged, not laughed at. Could someone please explain. }

Perhaps a mans heart tends to be where his head is at the time. I know my mind has trouble keeping on track sometimes. A 'simple clubbing over the head' is often all it takes to get me to re-focus, and remember that I passed the torch some 25 years ago. But it's still in my blood.

When it (or anything with her) gets in they way of OUR life together, we talk about it, I get some space, and give some in return.

We will joke about something we don't want to admit bothers us, as though not to would weaken our metal, our armour. AOL news chat had alot of 'hurtfull' commits about this Marines choice, to HONOR his wife more than his self, his body.

THAT'S PART OF WHAT MARINES DO

I support his choice, his HONOR to his wife, his sacrifice. I don't think I can honestly expect another, non-MARINE, (or non-soldier, or non-sailor, or non-airman) to understand fully, but I would expect an AMERICAN to RESPECT his decision, his right to make the choice.

I have said before;
'The ignorant mock what they don't understand'

Semper Fidelis

[LivinSoFree]

Amanda,
Being one who unfortunately had a relationship fall by the wayside as a partial result of the Corps: it all comes down to perceptions and attitude. A relationship I *thought* was strong all the way through boot soon began to come apart once I returned back to the relative normalcy of "regular" society. I definitely lost patience for a lot of what I percieved as petty issues, and on the reverse, the girl whom I was with began to resent being second to the Corps in a lot of fashions. It just ended up being better for both of us to part ways and get on with life. Now that I've had a little time to collect my thoughts on the subject, I find that I've become much more selective when it comes to who I think I might be able to carry on a relationship with.

What happened to precipitate this question, out of curiosity? Have difficulties arisen with PFC Seeley?

- Meyer

[Amanda]

: ) No, problems have not arisen with Seeley. : ) We are just fine. I guess its just that i hear from him all the time of married men going and running around with other women. And then i read the forum about the Marine who chose his ring to his finger, i read some of the unfair comments about him, and it bothered me in a way. I do not claim to understand because i have never been a Marine wife...yet...but i am going to be in 6 months. That is why i asked for someone to explain. : )

[Angel]

In 6 Months Amanda!! Wow!! Congrats... I know you told me the news but never expected it to be soo SOON.. Happy for Ya Hun!!! :) Am I invited to the Wedding??? Lol...

[mrbsox]

Congrats.

I hope that you are as deep in his heart, as the Corps is in his blood.
And also, that you realize that your are marrying not just a Marine,
but also the Corps.

It will be a part of your life together, and CAN make you both stronger, together. Embrass the honor and glory, and you do your love for him...
And you do well.... TOGETHER.

The best of luck to you both !!

[drillinstructor]

Get involved Amanda with all aspect. Marine Wifes Clubs, JANE Wayne days etc. It will make Seely happy

The DI

And no I have not found a woman yet that understands this DI thing.....no time to look anyway haha

[TRLewis]

Wives can be replaced, I would much rather be single and lonely, than hear about my wife hanging out at the E-club and the barracks while I'm gone. Besides I'm not bad looking, I can always find another chick, and if you are in Lejeune go ugly early, best advice I ever heard there.

[Angel]

Seriously.. I think that saying that "wives can be replaced" is mean... It seems to me that most men in general not just Marines have this mentality that a woman is a woman is a woman... If they did one thing that would upset them just ONCE then they're gone.. However it is ok for a guy to cheat on a girl or least to say a Marine to cheat on his gf while on deployment and if she leaves him it's her fault because he cheated on her... it's just not fair when a guy could cheat on a girl then turn it around and say.... She didn't wait for me.. I was doing my job when in the mean time screwing another girl... Do you think it's fair?

[TRLewis]

Sounds like you have a stereotype of all Marines. Women are shady, my wife even says they are. And thats why shes my wife because I don't have to worry about stuff like that. She was with me for years before we got married for the same reason I am complaining about.

I never cheated on her while deployed, she knows it, because I'm a horrible liar. You just sound bitter.

[Angel]

Not that I'm bitter or I'm stereotyping anyone TRLewis.. but I just said most men do...not all.. I just didn't like the fact that people would say wives are replaceable.. it's just mean to say that anyone could be replaced because you had choose to be with them and actually asked them to spend the rest of your life with you.. this goes for both guys and girls.. why would you marry a person if you know that you wouldn't be able to stay faithful to them?

[TRLewis]

They are replaceable, everyone is. Some people need someone by them 24/7, and others can be left alone for years with only letters, phone calls and email.

Wives can do some evil **** to a man. My dad was in the Army, and one of the guys in his company commited suicide because his wife was ****ing about 6 or 7 guys in the company. And at a christmas party his wife was giving lap dances to people, and one guy gave him graphic details about it. He took his own life in the armory.

Deployments now take on a whole new meaning, deployment now means playing in the sandbox mostly. 12+ months worrying about your own life to come back to, "Honey I missed you so much, we have to talk." Or sending him divorce papers while he is there? That is ****ed up ****.

How many men do you see on or near a military base labeled as an "ID Chaser"? I've never seen any, and you wonder why wives are replaceable.

[Angel]

Those are exceptions and those type of women should reevaluate themselve and see what do they really need.. If they can't take the stress of not being with a person who is on deployment for the sake of their country then they shouldn't be with them in the first place.. but seriously.. how many cases of Marines while on MOS training would go out and party.. not that its wrong too.. cuz they deserve to have fun with their frens after hrs of training.. and on their way back from the party pick up a "couple of girls" knowingly that they have a gf at home waiting for them... I'm not saying this toward all Marines.. cuz I know that the men in the infantry got it hard.. but how bout those in the other fields.. I hear my ex talk about it all the time... his frens would go out and find new girls every night.. and most of them.. have gfs back at home

[TRLewis]

This debate is terminated due to lack of English skills, and proper spelling.

[Angel]

wow... soo much for a debate.. but I made my point and said what I have to say... whether it is proper spelling or not...

[TracGunny]

Husbands can be replaced, too... as for why marry a person if you do not intend to stay faithful, or even stay with that person... well, there is probably more answers to that than there are divorces in our society (in & out of military), and the last time I checked, currently in our society divorces out number marriages each year...

Amanda... Marines by nature, and I believe it is a learned nature, are cynical. When I was 19 I would have seen the loss of a finger for the ring as noble, chivalrous, and great... now that I am older, well traveled, seasoned, and (hopefully) wiser, the kid is an idiot...


(skrew grammar nd spelin)

Success or failure in the relationship... it is up to the two involved...

[TRLewis]

Gunny, I heard the best way to solve the divorce problems in America. Heard it from a Gunny recruiter who was getting divorced, he said, "Marriage should be like a military contract, you sign up for 2-6 years. In the end if you don't like it, pack your **** and leave at the end of the contract."

[TracGunny]

TRLewis, from what I see/read, we ARE a society of "contract marriages"... I'll be using the Gunny's qoute on that one...

[TRLewis]

Incoming PM with the Gunny's name.

[Angel]

I think Marriages should be considered more carefully nowadays... It seems that most people have the mentality that it's ok to replace a wife or a husband... but Marriage to me should be a life long thing.. although I was never married and not planning to unless I'm sure that I really get to know the person well enough to say "I do" and make the commitment to be faithful to them.. Then I wouldn't get married....

as for a contract with Marriage.. basically you are on a contract with that person when you're dating them... and if you don't like what you have.. then leave.. don't settle for good... but settle for the best.. First off there is no paper to sign.. Second it saves you from regretting afterward...

This is why it's better off to wait a couple of years while you're in the millitary to ask the significant others to marry you because in those couple of years you'll know their waiting habits and if they'll be able to take the stress of not having you there by their side all the time...

[yellowwing]

"contract marriages" - ouch! That reminded me of the divorce proceeding I once took part in. I was all wrapped up in knots and one of my old buddys finally explained to me, "Divorce is a business deal." That cleared up alot.

Other than that I'm not sufficiently qualified to take part in the, "What's the deal with relationships," debate.

[TRLewis]

I contemplated marrying a hooker once, but I figured it would be alot of work getting rid of her. And she might want to come on base, and it just seemed like more hassle than worth the extra cash.

[TracGunny]

...very good, Angel, I concur with your observations completely and wish more people had such insight... you are wise beyond your years...

My coments on "contract marriages" was a social observation; I beleive marriage is a "contract" between a man and woman before God and is binding until 'death do you part.'

Might explain why I'm a bona fide bachelor...

[Angel]

Thanks TracGunny and that jsut sums up my whole view on Marriage..

It is a life long contract that you made before God... So before accepting it.. consider it carefully...

[TRLewis]

Originally posted by TracGunny

Might explain why I'm a bona fide bachelor...

No one wants that divorce by death agreement? LOL Semper Fi Gunny

[Amanda]

hey all. Well all i can say is WOW! No wonder the divorce rate is so high in the Corps. Don't get me wrong I have deep respect for the Corps. I was going to join before i met Shawn, then i settled for becoming a Marine wife. TRLewis, you said Angel has a stereotype about all Marines, well it sounds to me like you have a steroetype about women. Just an observation. I may disagree with you, however i still respect your opinion and your status as a Marine. And i am sorry about the women in your life that have caused you to view them as so replaceable, kinda like a dog. Women can be horrible, vindictive, and evil to men. But thats not all of them!

[vfm]

Relationships depend on the individuals involved.Iwas in the Corps fo 6 years. Will celebrate our 34th in April. I guess I'm just lucky and my wife has a good sense of humor.
Semper Fi!!!
vfm

[LivinSoFree]

Marines are, by training and nature, cocky, unpredictable, who are dedicated FIRST AND FOREMOST, to the Corps (at least he really good ones are :marine: ). This creates problems when it comes to relationships, which a lot of times become more of a liability than a benefit. I'm on the younger end of the spectrum, and I don't have the benefit of experience that a lot of the Marines here do, but from my limited experience, being a Marine seriously limits the prospective pool of individuals with whom you are compatible over the long term, especially if you're FMF. Exercises, regular deployments, long separations, oh, and by the way, a job that pays you to kill people. I find it completely understandable why a lot of Marines never get married, and why a lot that do (especially young), end up becoming statistics.

[drillinstructor]

I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AFTER READING THIS DISCUSSION.


ok maybe but wow

[marinemom]

Originally posted by Amanda
hey all. Well all i can say is WOW! No wonder the divorce rate is so high in the Corps. Don't get me wrong I have deep respect for the Corps. I was going to join before i met Shawn, then i settled for becoming a Marine wife.

OK Amanda - first thing is nobody settles for becoming a Marine wife - you accept the challenge and the love and respect of the man who has brought you into the family of the Corps. If you are "settling" - I have a lot of worry for Seeley.

When you are a Marine wife you wear a lot of hats - life companion and lover are automatic - but, you are now HST, worrying about paperwork, doctor visits. You also become the repair crew - amazing how quickly you get to know all that stuff in his tool bos and what it does.

You are also a member of the Motor Pool - you do not think he is going to get the POV checked over and repaired, do you? Not to mention your training in Logistics, school trips versus the tim9ng of getting him off to deployment.

Hey, PCS time is fun time, or at least that is what my husband and son tell me. And do not forget your other hats, laundry, banker, budget director and the rest.

Of course, when you wear all those hats - when you are the one that finds the boxes that TMO can't - when you find out that you can do all the necessary stuff while he is deployed, but make him think that he is the only one who can when he comes home - when you are the one parent that the school knows - you find out who you are.

Remember, your Marine knows who he is - and when you know who you are, and work with him 24/7, 365 (even though most of that 365 is not at home), when you understand that the Corps comes first (even though he loves you to death), and when you can accept that - embrace it, even - then you are a Marine wife.

Marine wives doe not "settle" - we wanted the best - and we got it.

[TracGunny]

Only two things come to mind that I can say having read marinemom's entry into the fray; "Wow" & "Yes Ma’am"! (Both rendered at the POA)

[Amanda]

Let me please explain, i understand what you are saying and respect it, and completely agree. I guess it came across wrong, i am NOT settling at ALL! I was just attempting to say that I respect the Marines and that i understand that it is difficult. I am NOT SETTLING!!! I am prepaired to take on the challenge and i welcome it. I want to be a Marine Wife. But thank you for your advice!

[drillinstructor]

Seely is a very young Marine at this point. Congrats to him. HMMM money and housing will be tight. I have had many many new Marines with financial difficulty.

Just did not want you to forget that added stress.....Oh the Marine wife. WOW

[LivinSoFree]

Had a buddy just get back from the Island in early November. No sooner had he gotten family day libo than did he propose to his girlfriend. I have to wonder if it's a good call: the "post-boot high" (we've all been there) does strange and irrational things to a Marine's head. Add the additionally well-documented capability of a woman to remove any and all logic from a man's thought process and you've got the potential for some trouble.

'Course, when he found out his paycheck would double with dependent allowances... without thinking about the expenses he's gonna incur... I'm sure that had something to do with it too.

[TRLewis]

I had a girlfriend all thru boot camp, and when I got back my only thoughts were how many times I could do her, and in what locations. The worst thing for a new Marine to do:

-Get married
-buy a brand new car
-propose
-use illegal drugs

[LivinSoFree]

TRLewis: I had a very similar experience... had a girlfriend who I thought I was in love with, went to boot camp, realized that it just wasn't all roses, came back, broke up with the poor girl a month after my return. Felt kinda bad for about 5 minutes, then I realized I was being ridiculous and got on with life.

[TRLewis]

Just apart of getting older, you realize that they aren't the greatest thing that ever happened to you. And the one who is the greatest will accept you thru thick and thin, and wont be packing their bags everytime they think something is going wrong.

[LivinSoFree]

^
Err.

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Amanda
hey all. Well all i can say is WOW! No wonder the divorce rate is so high in the Corps. ... TRLewis, you said Angel has a stereotype about all Marines, well it sounds to me like you have a steroetype about women. Just an observation. I may disagree with you, however i still respect your opinion and your status as a Marine. And i am sorry about the women in your life that have caused you to view them as so replaceable, kinda like a dog. Women can be horrible, vindictive, and evil to men. But thats not all of them!





I got rid of my third wife, because she burned the beans.



It had nothing to do with the Corps...

[Angel]

Originally posted by TRLewis
I had a girlfriend all thru boot camp, and when I got back my only thoughts were how many times I could do her, and in what locations. The worst thing for a new Marine to do:

-Get married
-buy a brand new car
-propose
-use illegal drugs


TRLewis... Have you ever thought about her feelings? How much she missed you throughout bootcamp... How much she wants to see you after you have accomplished the most important thing in your life? or How much tears she could of shed while waiting for you back at home? Although you really went through hell.. Sometimes I wonder, is that just an excuse to use to get what you want... or is it not?

You might have went through hell mentaly and physically... but have you ever thought of how hard it is to wait.... it seems liek an endless wait but you'll wait anyways... You're doing the action while she's sitting there doing the waiting.. When all she could think abut is you.. How are you going to be like when you come back home? or I knwo it will change but I'll accept the challenge because I love him? In her mind there is tons and tons of question revolving around the issue of how things will be... Of how proud she'll be after you return... but also... how different it will be... Don't get me wrong.... but waiting without any reassurance or anything at all is hard... and when you find out that the only thing that was on your love mind when he return is to screw you... then... it feels that all the waiting that you have done... seems like a waste... because you just want comfort... and to be with your Marine as long as you can until he have to leave again...

We as woman need assurances that no matter how tough it gets everything would be ok..Men on the other hand likes to take action.. When all they had to do was say... "Honey it'll be ok" and give them a hug and a kiss... Woman need to feel that they are loved.. although they might not be the first in your mind... but at least show them that there is more to it.. other than to screw them... otherwise.. we'll feel like we're only an object that you could come and go as you wish... We have feelings and our feelings are more intense than those of men... An occasion I love you is not hard...

[Toby M]

Sparrowhawk, is that like the guy who lost three wives...the first died from eating poison mushrooms and the other two from a knot in the head-(they wouldn't eat the poison mushrooms)

[LivinSoFree]

An occasion I love you is not hard...

If you mean it. Angel darlin', you're great, and you're good to have on this site. But you do have a different perspective not only as a female, but as a civilian...

When I got home from boot, the way I looked at everything changed. Where I had previously been able to sympathize/understand/put up with what my girlfriend of the time thought were majorly important issues (on matters such as: which people looked at her the wrong way, how she/we were percieved by people we didn't know, whether or not mommy and daddy would be happy with one decision or another, etc.), I now saw them for what they were, petty, superficial bulls**t, that was just gonna get worse as time went on.

There's nothing wrong with her in and of herself. She's a sweet girl (and a good looker to boot), and I'm sure she'll make someone very happy. Just not me.

An interesting postscript to this story: In the course of dating her, I think I actually got along better with her parents than her at times. As a result, from time to time, I'd hang out with her mom or dad. I broke the poor girl's heart on a Friday. The next monday, her dad and I had planned to go out and put some rounds through an M9, to get some familiarization before I had to do pistol quals... However, I decided that perhaps adding live ammo to this situation wasn't the brightest idea... haven't talked to them since. What a shame, eh?

[thedrifter]

Marine Wife's Perspective


Here are some of my experiences as to what it has been like being married to a Marine for over 26 years till his death.

EATING HABITS: When cooking dinner I am always careful to ensure that food is served on red and gold dinner plates. Food should be arranged in alphabetical order and in a clockwise pattern. Different foods should never touch each other. Husband tends to be suspicious of anything other than the basic meat, potatoes and gravy. Choice of wines depends on which year he was in Vietnam, i.e. 1965 was a good year for Mateus, 1972 was Cold Duck. Never mention the words Nouc Mam or C-Rats.

CLOTHING: He doesn't understand why he has to wear "civvies." His clothes are all conservative and about 15 years out of date. He doesn't care because his friends all dress the same way. The colors are usually tan and brown. They blend in nicely with dirt. It took 20 years to get him to change from "Cash Sales" boxer shorts to jockeys.

TERMINOLOGY: I now think that I have figured out the meanings of the following: bulkhead, ladderway, stairwell, head, excessive sink rate, behind the power curve, approach turn stalls and translational lift. Speaking of terminology, during the early years, I never knew there were so many people named "Butt Head" and "*******".

SAFETY HINTS: When standing near a group of Marine helicopter pilots engaged in war stories, remain at a safe distance. If you are too close, you could end up with a black eye or a drink spilled on you. You see, they don't know how to talk without using their hands. While driving, don't even attempt to tell a Marine he might be lost. It's hopeless, they just don't listen. Don't tell them any jokes either. They've heard 'em all and won't laugh at yours. Never mention, or think the name of Jane Fonda!!

OBSERVATIONS: It never ceased to amaze me how important he was. Every time there was a PCS household move to be done, he suddenly became indispensable at work! He likes to watch action movies with lots of flying in them. Sometimes he will use the toilet plunger as a make believe "stick" firmly planted on the floor in front of him during the show. Finally, Marines are quite unique specimens and need a lot of TLC. They are the few, the proud, and heaven help them....they will always be MARINES!



You Need to Be A Strong Women.....
You are Their Support........


Ellie

[TRLewis]

Wow I'm really getting singled out in this one. Maybe Angel you should wait until your Wife Tour is over before you discuss this with me.

I never had a wife while I was in the Corps, but I will when I leave for the Army in Feb. I was too busy(i.e. stripper/porn star, the college chick who was getting a double masters, some asian chick I met who couldnt speak a word of english.) I have a wife now, who understands me, and realizes she cannot change me and it is better to accept who I am, and what I will accomplish in my lifetime, because she knows I will be true to her no matter what, and after 30+ years of service when I get out of the military. I will be all hers after I get done with work for that day.

I dont want to make it a point about your age, but you are young. And if I had only known what I know now, that I didnt know when I was 18 I would be so much better off. And its not that many years, but I feel like an old man compared to what I know now.

[GunnyL]

A relationship is only as strong as the two people in it. There are Men that cheat on their wives and there are wives that cheat on their husbands both in and out of the Corps. There are Couples who remain faithful to each other both in and out of the Corps. I don't think you can ever blame the Corps for your Troubles. I know Marines whom have gotten out of the Corps to "Save their Marriage" and almost all of them were divorced within 6 months of Separation. It's not the Marine Corps that will make or break your Marriage, it's the faith you have in each other and the strength of that bond. I remember those long deployments, and living for letters from home. Writing on MRE boxes when I ran out of paper to answer back. When I was on Recruiting Duty and I had a young man who was worried about losing his girlfriend, I gave them all sound advice! "A girlfriend is only going to be one of two things, your ex girlfriend or your wife!, it doesn't matter if you go into the Marine's or you stay here, it's still the same result. If your relationship is strong and you were meant to be together, then it doesn't matter what you do, it will happen!" There's no doubt that it takes one hell of a woman to be Married to a Marine (and if you ask my wife, a Retired Marine isn't any easier) and to endure all that the Marine Corps will throw at you but if you make it, you will have built an inseparable bond. Marriage isn't just about love, it's a lot of compromises and doing what's right for all the right reason's. When you have children together, a lot of times you have to sacrifice your own wants and desires for the needs of the children. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, they are all a lot of work, it's just whether or not you are both committed to making that effort everyday for the rest of your lives!

GunnyL Out!

[Angel]

I understand that in order for a woman to become a Marine wife, they must be one hell of a woman because they can't always expect to be with their husbands all of the time.. That is not what a Marine wife is all about.. but I'm arguing over the point where SOME men uses their job as an excuse to screw other girls.. and how sometimes we feel singled out and just need some reassurance to keep our focus strong.......

I dislike the fact that it seems like we are just a piece of meat where you guys can come and go at anytime you want.. We are replaceable or so you say... Some women are evil.. but that is not all.. There are many women out there that are willing to take the challenge and be prepare for it... I know that if I truely love someone.. I would do my best to support them in any way shape or form.. and I will wait for them.. no question ask... and no other man on my mind... but how about the other side... are they willing to do the same? It seems like to most men in general.. We are just a piece of meat...

[Namvet67]

Angel....I really didn't want to get involved with thread but somehow I've been drawn into it. First of all, most men don't think women are a piece of meat (some do..for good reasons). Men will be men...Marine or not... women need a reason and men just need a place. Women see things on a permanent basis while most men see things as being temporary. There are just as many women out there that cheat (maybe more). Then there is the old double standard. Are men and women really MEANT to live together? As far as getting married to a Marine goes...I would really think about that. Why not wait and get to know each other more first? Be careful for what you ask for because you may get it!!!! Just more food for thought. Good luck

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Angel



"but at least show them that there is more to it.. other than to screw them.'



"I dislike the fact that it seems like we are just a piece of meat where you guys can come and go at anytime you want.."




There is a difference between that and a women a man loves, or loves to be with.

If all you are getting is "screwed" as you put it, or you feel like "a piece of meat," then you might be taking what he gives wrong, or he maybe taking what you give as attached to a price tag he is not willing to pay.

I have spend many a night with different women, and I don't think any of them ever felt they were being screwed, or felt like they were just a piece of meat.

On the contrary, I have seen some of them years afterwards and there has never been a regret, but memories of a good time together.


The only one that was a screw (as you put it) was a Vietnamese girl by the name of crater face who ran her business at the 7th Marines perimeter fence near Da Nang and that was a business arrangement involving $5.00, of which I had to borrow $2.00 from another Marine because I had send all my money home to my wife at that time.










Humm, now, that don't sound right, does it?











Humm, now that is now going to bother me....










I guess I should set things right, about that...








Now, I'm beginning to really feel bad about that...










I still owe that Marine those two bucks.... LOL

[Angel]

Originally posted by gbudd
[/B] Why not wait and get to know each other more first? Be careful for what you ask for because you may get it!!!! Just more food for thought. Good luck [/B]


This is exactly where I am getting at.... I'm just saying men and women today seems to be getting married for the sake of getting married or they are afraid of loosing the person whom they "thought" they love without getting to actually know a person first...

However, the mentality that a "wife is replacable" or a "husband is replacable" is probably part of the reason why men and women get married then in less than a year or two they get a divorce afterward because they are "replacable."

[Namvet67]

You don't really get to know the other person for at least 2 years and a minimum of 8 fights. That is a fact of life. Replaceable is a self preservation thing. The divorce rate is over 50% so your chance of getting a replacement is pretty good. Space requirements is the main culprit in relationship breakdowns.

[Angel]

Originally posted by Sparrowhawk


There is a difference between that and a women a man loves, or loves to be with.




This I do understand Sparrowhawk but it's just sad to see some men label as women or wives "replaceable" Imagine if someone told your daughter that she was replaceable? That would make a difference wouldn't it??


I do understand that the Corps comes first and I do understand that I cannot expect the person to be with me all of the time because they ahve an important job to perform.. They are protecting me and my family... and our job is to give them support... But what about us... We need some booster too.. and that booster is to see some type of message or some form of affection from the individual that although we're not first in line.. but there is a place for us in their heart.. and that is Second to the corps.. So all in all... A simple I love you.. I miss you... or a simple I care for you from time to time.. not all the time.. but just a reminder... would be enough to keep me going....

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Angel



This I do understand Sparrowhawk but it's just sad to see some men label as women or wives "replaceable"






Everyone is replaceable...

Some hurt when they are replaced; some bring joy when they are replaced.

It all depends in what you want and what they want, if the two are the same, then that replacement is costly.


****In war, replacements meant new pain and sorrow, the FNG's were not wanted. That experience carries over to the distance we sometimes place in our relationships of life.



Had I walked into another office that one day, been a few minutes later it would have been another clerk who would have helped me, and it would have been some other woman's breast that would be satisfying my desires today.

But when I saw her, I said, "Oh, you have freckles, on your chest like the girl in the Winston cigarette posters."

Had she not been there, at that time, or felt insulted by what I said, then, she would probably would never have, experienced the pains and sorrows, joys and children we have enjoyed.

She probably would have married that jerk she thought she loved, who never said to her, "I love you, need you, want you."

[Osotogary]

Angel,
I know that this is getting a little off track but a loong time ago there was an organizational manual that referred to the Organization as a System and ....you guessed it....the humans that worked for that Organization as Sub Systems. Needless to say the entire manual, which was printed for nationwide distribution, had to be reprinted. Everyone knew what was meant by the use of System/Sub-System but everyone agreed that the manual should be modified to create more of a human aspect to it.
Sometimes it is just a matter of semantics. Either way "replaceable" is a hard word to digest in human feeling terms.
Angel, you may wish to get past this " replaceable" hurdle and concentrate on the positive aspects of the relationship that you are now having. If you can, don't bring any bad experiences that you or your friends have had into your current relationship- that alone can ruin any hope of having a good current relationship. Learn from the past and understand that it is the past and not the present or future.
Also...take two aspirin and I'll see you in the morning. Take care.
Good luck to you.
Gary

[Angel]

Marines Marines.. Please reread my posts... I'm just arguing over the point that men and women nowadays get married over the wrong reason and the mentality that a husband or a wife could be replaced is part of the reason why the divorce rate is soo high.. No one is faithful to each other anymore.. No one really cares about the true value of marriage anymore.. everyone thinks that getting married is jsut a piece of cake.. (I don't mean everyone but you get the point)

[Pop-A-TopII]

The 1st and formost love of all our lives should be to the One that loved us 1st. Our bodies, and all that stand on the globe will be gone someday. Our souls will last forever, if, we 1st love the One who loved us 1st. Yes, even more then we love our wives, children, the Corps, or anything in this world. Store up your treasures in Heaven where they will last for Eternity. Happy Holidays and God Bless, always a brother,

[Sparrowhawk]

I've always wondered that if Adam hadn't given into Eve's temptation, if she would have been replaced with a newer more obedient model?


But she was deceived and then went and dragged Adam into her sinful affair.


Gosh darn women.......

[cajunguy]

Your driver's license expires.

Your fishing license expires.

Your hunting license expires.

But your marriage license? It NEVER expires. (Not supposed to, anyway.) DAMN !! http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage20/18.gif

Now with that silliness being said, I am proud to say that my bride and I recently made the 40-year mark in our marriage. (And she is my first and ONLY wife.)

Has it been a bed of roses for forty years. Of course it hasn't. There have been good as well as not so good times.

But it's all about what you BOTH bring to the table that counts. It CAN be done.

Best of luck with your choices Angel. http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/angel09.gif

[Angel]

Lol Sparrowhawk..
I don't think the discussion of the differences between male and female will ever end...

[Angel]

Thanks Cajunguy...

[Osotogary]

Angel, I can see now where I really got off the beaten path and I apologize. I still think that no matter how valid your argument is about the current state of marriage you shouldn't carry around the burden of everyone elses marital strife. That is just too heavy of a burden for anyone.

[Angel]

lol.. Gary.. that wasn't my intent at all... I was just trying to point out that not all are the same.. women and men... some women might not get offended by it.. but if i was to be a wife.. I wouldn't want to be label as replacable...

[Osotogary]

Angel,
I was informed last week in a jokingly manner (I hope) that I was going to be traded-in. In my condition she won't get much. LMAO
Hmmmmmm. That's not saying too much about myself is it? LOL I'll get over it...I suppose. In the mean time, it's back to my exercise apparatus. I figure in about six months I should look like Adonis.

[Angel]

ROFLMAO.. Lol.. Gary.. I needed that laugh.. Lol..

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Osotogary
Angel,
I was informed last week in a jokingly manner (I hope) that I was going to be traded-in. In my condition she won't get much. LMAO
Hmmmmmm. That's not saying too much about myself is it? LOL I'll get over it...I suppose. In the mean time, it's back to my exercise apparatus. I figure in about six months I should look like Adonis.

Wife asked me just the other day, that if she died, would I find a replacement for her.

I told her yes, I would, she looked a bit sad, so I says to her, don't worry, I would take in six women to live with me to replace her..

Don't know if that made her feel any better, but it did me. lol

[Amanda]

hey all, i never thought that this would get so far! : ) Trust me none of you have to worry about Seeley and I. We have been planning on getting married long before he left for boot camp. So we are going to be fine!

I am a civilian, but i know what love is, i know what marrage is and i know how real women treat men and now REAL men treat women.

[grayshade]

A qoute,"I may be stupid, but I know what love is.", maybe ol' Forrest had something. But in my case, marriage was too much, I got married at a young age. The stresses of the Corps were too much for my wife (I was a grunt/Security Forces), being away from her was too much I guess. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but sometimes divorce is a godsend in itself. I always tell people to make sure. Now I gotta take my own advice.

[Ed Palmer]

I dont know to do this the right way so I will do it my way.


Marines Marines.. Please reread my posts... I'm just arguing over the point that men and women nowadays get married over the wrong reason and the mentality that a husband or a wife could be replaced is part of the reason why the divorce rate is soo high.. No one is faithful to each other anymore.. No one really cares about the true value of marriage anymore.. everyone thinks that getting married is jsut a piece of cake.. (I don't mean everyone but you get the point)

We got married when she was 16 and was 18. and all I wanted was a little tail. well that tail after 47 wonderfull years aint so little any more, We managed to spend a total of 15 years in the Corps on very little pay ,if you know what I mean any how we still one and happy.
damn I have to lay off the happy juice,,,,;;
The Marines today can still do the same if only they put their HEARTS into it. It realy is a can do situation. and yes everyone CAN DO IT :
Thanks for letting me have my say
Semper Fi

[Ed Palmer]

like I said I couldnt do it right this is what I was refering to
Angel
Member


Offline
Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 124
Marines Marines.. Please reread my posts... I'm just arguing over the point that men and women nowadays get married over the wrong reason and the mentality that a husband or a wife could be replaced is part of the reason why the divorce rate is soo high.. No one is faithful to each other anymore.. No one really cares about the true value of marriage anymore.. everyone thinks that getting married is jsut a piece of cake.. (I don't mean everyone but you get the point)

thanks

[Underleft]

Maybe people are thinking too deep into this. Maybe it's just like the Marine Corps. It's not for everybody but for some people it works just great. My point is. There is no right or wrong answer to this subject. Like many things in this world, it is different for everybody. Nobody has the right to say marriage will work for sombody else or not. Nobody knows. I have been married since boot camp and I have been living with her 3 years prior to that. In my opinion if you feel she or he can be replaced then you need to re-evaluate your feelings for him/her. Now would I remarry if my wife died or somthing like that...maybe...I can't say I wouldn't but as of right now when shes here with me I can't even imagine it.

[TRLewis]

I wouldn't remarry if my wife died, I would enjoy being a bachelor too much. She did ask me the other day what would I do if she died before me(shes 6 years older than me), I told her I would out live everyone, she asked everyone we knew? I said no everyone on the planet so I could do whatever the hell I want.

[drillinstructor]

Sparrowhak says the funniest damn things on here, a true comedian, I liked the 2 bucks that he owes and the 6 women to replace his current wife. How do you think of these things? Angel, Angel, Angel...I know you are a tiny lil thing but have some thick skin. Dont let it bother you. We fight for Freedom and Freedom is not Free. Let these fine Americans use their Freedom of Speech and dont sweat it... kill kill kill em all

The DI that is SDI now though damn going to have to change my name, but SDI is only 1 cycle then off to Ser GySgt wuzzzzzupppp

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by drillinstructor
Sparrowhak says the funniest damn things on here, a true comedian, I liked the 2 bucks that he owes and the 6 women to replace his current wife. How do you think of these things? is only 1 cycle then off to Ser GySgt wuzzzzzupppp

Think of them? I live them, true stories...

I live in a household of six women... and mid-way through the month I barracade myself in the garage for two full weeks. LMAO

Had two teenage kids say the other day they wanted to move in with my family, never a dull moment.

I told them it would be okay, since it was their third visit to our home, they no longer qualified as guest and so they had already been assigned kitchen duty for the remainder of the week.

Haven't seen them since... LOL

[drillinstructor]

haha yes I was going to comment that you have been around the block once or twice and it shows in your comments but I refraimed because I thought it may be inappropiate. HA and then you came back with it

[GunnyL]

I told my wife if she died I was going to Marry her best friend! LOL

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by GunnyL
I told my wife if she died I was going to Marry her best friend! LOL


GunnyL makes it easlier that way, since you'll have an early start.. LOL



My wife was my girlfriends best friend... LMAO

[Angel]

Originally posted by cajunguy
Your driver's license expires.

Your fishing license expires.

Your hunting license expires.

But your marriage license? It NEVER expires. (Not supposed to, anyway.) DAMN !! http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage20/18.gif

Now with that silliness being said, I am proud to say that my bride and I recently made the 40-year mark in our marriage. (And she is my first and ONLY wife.)

Has it been a bed of roses for forty years. Of course it hasn't. There have been good as well as not so good times.

But it's all about what you BOTH bring to the table that counts. It CAN be done.

Best of luck with your choices Angel. http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/angel09.gif

Lol I just notice this... Look I'm naked.. Lol...

[cajunguy]

Why do you think we love ya so much? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/cajunguy/teehee.gif

[Angel]

LMAO.. hehehehe

[yellowwing]

Angel, I have been taught two congruent but not totally different schools of thought on relationships.

My Hebrew business mentor teaches there are 10,000 women out of 5 billion, that are comaptible with me and we could stay together until death do us part.

The one I like to believe is the Anishinabe Elder. His teaching is, "If you are meant to be together, there is nothing in this world that will keep you apart."

[drillinstructor]

I agree

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Angel


Lol I just notice this... Look I'm naked.. Lol...

Humm, I missed that, can you get closer to the monitor?


LOL

[Sparrowhawk]

Return of the soldier's ring <br />
<br />
Battle's romantic gesture returned with surprise gift <br />
<br />
By SARA A. CARTER <br />
STAFF WRITER <br />
<br />
MONTCLAIR - With his wife leading the way, a blindfolded Lance Cpl. David...

[yellowwing]

Dang she looks SWEET! Maybe we should rethink if the lad was an idiot? ;)

[Angel]

Originally posted by yellowwing
Angel, I have been taught two congruent but not totally different schools of thought on relationships.

My Hebrew business mentor teaches there are 10,000 women out of 5 billion, that are comaptible with me and we could stay together until death do us part.

The one I like to believe is the Anishinabe Elder. His teaching is, "If you are meant to be together, there is nothing in this world that will keep you apart."

This I agree with ya also Yellowing.. but I think it also needs the two individuals to work together to make it work.. Fate have something to do with it.. and God surely does make plans for you.. but you also needs the intiative and the willingness from both party to make the relationship work..

[Angel]

Originally posted by Sparrowhawk


Humm, I missed that, can you get closer to the monitor?


LOL

Lol Sparrowhawk..

Humm..


Humm.....


Are you going to grab me out of the monitor Sparrow?

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Angel


Lol Sparrowhawk..

Humm..


Humm.....


Are you going to grab me out of the monitor Sparrow?


Women, always misunderstand what we say...


NO, Angel, I just wanted to see the size and type of keyboard you have...

LMAO

[Angel]

haha.. Sparrow.. What would this site be without you!.. hehe You're just too funny.. I just love reading your posts.. lol..

[hrscowboy]

yep i told my wife if she died i was going to marry her best friend also but the freakin trouble is i have never met her best friend or know if she even has one....

[drillinstructor]

..