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Doc Crow
11-29-04, 08:31 AM
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his mother does to try to calm him down the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
From the rear of the plane, a man in a U.S. Marine Corps uniform walks up to them. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the Marine leans down and, while motioning toward his chest, he whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, quietly fastens his seatbelt and gently takes his mother's hand. All the other passengers burst into applause.
As the Marine is going back to his seat, a stewardess says, "Excuse me, sir, could I ask what you said to that little boy?"

The Marine smiles and confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars and battle ribbons. I explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose. Then, I told him I was just about to make my selection for this flight."

Namvet67
11-29-04, 09:19 AM
Outstanding... Thanks Doc

DSchmitke
11-29-04, 10:01 AM
Excellent Doc have seen this one a long time ago.

Doc Crow
11-29-04, 01:08 PM
A friend of mine in California sent it to me really made me laugh. All the times I fly makes me wish this would happen more often then not

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 03:09 PM
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. As the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.


When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch .

:banana:

Arlene Horton
11-29-04, 08:44 PM
Those have to be two of the really outstanding laugh producers! This was the first time I ever read those two. Thanks men. Semper Fi...