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thedrifter
09-13-04, 01:20 PM
Vietnam bound - to learn, not to fight
September 13,2004
ROSELEE PAPANDREA
DAILY NEWS STAFF

Aaron Catrett knows his father, Ed Catrett of Jacksonville, fought in the Vietnam War and survived five injuries, including a gunshot wound to the head.

But Aaron isn't privy to the stories his dad pushes away, so he doesn't have to remember. He can't fully understand the profound impact the war had on his father's life.

Now, at 22 and a recent college graduate, Aaron is certain his father's secrets are the key to making their relationship complete.

He yearns to delve into his dad's memories, and he wants to do it in the country where they were made.

Aaron received a $5,500 Francis L. Phillips Travel Scholarship from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, which will fund his exploration of Vietnam and the places where his father was stationed while he was a Marine fighting in the war.

For two weeks of Aaron's four-month journey, Ed, 56, will join him, and together they will travel to the past.

"I want to know what happened there," Aaron said. "What kind of experiences did he go through? It's a section of his life we didn't understand. It was sort of off limits. Besides, what was the point of having him talk about something if I wouldn't understand. It's such a foreign country - such a foreign land - that understanding wasn't feasible."

Aaron is hoping that visiting the cities and walking through the hillsides in places such as Da Nang, Cam Lo and Tong Lic will encourage Ed to open up. He thinks taking it all in and experiencing it firsthand - the culture, the food, the people as well as quiet time with his father - will make it more tangible.

"I'm sure it will be an emotional trip," Aaron said. "I'll be doing a lot of listening. I'll certainly probe and guide him with questions. I'm anticipating that he'll have a lot of memories that he didn't remember he had."

While Aaron will head to Vietnam in early October, Ed won't be leaving until Nov. 10. Strangely enough, it's the same date - just 38 years later - that he left for Vietnam the first time. It's a coincidence that both Catretts discovered as they were telling their story.

Ed, a seventh-grade social studies and science teacher at Hunters Creek Middle School and a member of the Onslow County Hospital Authority, isn't sure how he's going to handle any of it, but he's thinking about it a lot.

"This has forced me to sit down and think about that part of my life and why I don't talk about it," Ed said. "Now I'll have to deal with that part of my life. I'll have to talk to Aaron. I'm looking forward to joining him and explaining what we did."

He's always known the entire experience, from the combat to the injuries he survived to the cold reception he received once he returned home, shaped him.

"It is has defined who I am," Ed said. "There is nothing that I can do - if I have the desire - that I can't handle. If anything is thrown at me, I can handle it. It taught me patience and great respect for human life and humanity itself and just the joy of every single day of life."

Ed was just 17 when he joined the Marine Corps in 1965. In July 1966, he got orders to go to Vietnam. He left in November. He was 19 and ready for battle.

"It was one of those things that if there's going to be a war, don't leave me out," he said.

Throughout his eight months in Vietnam, he continued to make sure he wasn't left out. Sometimes that meant not reporting injuries so he wouldn't get sent home. While he was actually injured five times, only three are officially reported, because after three injuries a person was sent home, he said.

A machine gunner assigned to India Company, 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines - known as the "Hungry Eye" - he spent a lot of time in combat.

"I was constantly on patrol and being engaged in combat," he said. "That's when all the training kicked in. When something happened, you just did it. Afterwards, it was terrible. You'd get the shakes.

"When I went over, I was immature. I came home an old man. After Vietnam, I was never young again."

Returning to the United States was more difficult for Ed than engaging in combat. A reality he never expected.

"It was difficult to handle how we were treated," he said. "I think that's why we don't talk about it."

After returning home, Ed stayed in the Marine Corps four years.

"I didn't want to face civilians," he said. "It was too difficult."

During that time, Marines had to wear their uniforms any time they traveled. It was rule that often made Ed a target of ridicule. Restaurants wouldn't serve him, and he experienced several negative encounters that remain vivid memories.

When he got out of the Marine Corps the first time, he went to college and got a degree in international studies and started a life in Warren, Pa., with his wife, Avie. Her Uncle Swede wanted Ed to attend meetings of the Veterans of Foreign Wars with him.

"I was kind of looking forward to it," Ed said. He needed the support of people who knew what he had gone through.

But when he got to his first meeting, he said they wouldn't let him in the door.

"They said it wasn't a war, and I didn't rate," he recalled. Swede insisted they include him, which they did until Swede's death.

Ed eventually joined the Marine Corps again in 1976 and fought in the Persian Gulf War in the early 1990s. When he returned home from the desert, he received a one-year free membership to the VFW, which angered him.

"It was salt in the wound," he said. "I wrote them a nasty letter and then threw it away. I was so angry. When I really needed them, they weren't there. When I really needed someone to help me deal with Vietnam, they weren't there. I had to learn to handle it myself."

Aaron doesn't believe his father ever really handled it. He just built his life on top of the memories and learned to mask his emotions and dull his feelings. Aaron isn't interested in hurting his father or making him relive the pain. He just wants to give him the chance to be whole again.

Ed is ready to open up to his son.

"I see it as a wonderful opportunity to share things I've never been able to get him to understand," Ed said. "All fathers at some point realize there are things they need to share with their sons."



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Ellie

Sgt. Smitty
10-09-04, 11:20 AM
I really hope this trip turns out in a positive way for the both of them, but I don't see how he can make his son understand the things we went through in Nam. You can't fully describe the many hundreds of emotions that went through us on a daily basis good enough so that someone who was never there can grasp a slight concept of what it felt like. And not only the being in country, but also the unforgetable homecoming we got when we got back to the world. How do you describe to someone how it feels to live day to day, scared for your life (literally) and always at a heightened state of readiness? That's one thing that the ones that weren't there will never understand.