View Full Version : Dear Mr. Ex-pres. Clinton

10-01-02, 03:49 PM
Dear Mr. Ex-Pres.
I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank
me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and
reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you"
for what you have done, . . specifically:
1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer
Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle
Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick.
Did I leave anyone out?
2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral
sex. I had really planned to wait until they were
older to discuss it with them, but now they know
more about it than I did as a senior in college.
3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment
in the work place (especially the White House) and
on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what
the meaning of "is" is. It really is great to know
that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person
may have sex while the other one involved does NOT have
4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of
impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating
that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog"
could be plausible after all.
5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent,
Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look
honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John
Kennedy look moral.
6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses
who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who
have fled the country to avoid testifying about
Democratic campaign fund raising.
7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions,
and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater "mess" and
the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions
(so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.
8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half,
"gutting" much of our foreign policy, and flying all
over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips.
9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of
dollars of excess tax money. I really didn't need it
in the first place, and I can't think of a more well deserving group
of recipients for my hard-earned dollars than jet fuel for all of your
globe-trotting. I understand you; the family and
your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air
Force One than any other administration.
10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks
for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile.
We will love to have them rejoin society.
11. Thanks also for removing the White House
silverware, I'm sure that Laura Bush didn't like the
pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts
you've received from your "friends".
12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing
of the White House for vandalizing and destroying
government property on the way out. I also
appreciate removing all of that excess weight
(China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap,
pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force One.
The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus
less tax dollars spent on jet fuel, thank you!
13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys
the $8 million dollar advance for her upcoming
"tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $5 million
advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn't
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs,
and Hillary got $8 million for hers. That's $20
million for two people who for eight years
repeatedly testified they couldn't remember
God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for
spending my taxes so wisely and frugally.
A U.S. Citizen

10-01-02, 06:39 PM
Don't forget to thank Hillary for all those village people, since it takes a village!


10-02-02, 07:17 AM

10-02-02, 10:56 AM