Pushy People ( a Hardjedi rant :)

[HardJedi]

So there I was, minding my own business at work, and up comes this customer to pay for some stuff. No problem. After paying for his merchandise, he asks me if I know who Jesus is. WHAT???? Do I have sinner and idiot tattoed across my forehead ? Then he gives my a pamphlet all about judgement day and tells me to read it on my break. Well, I am at work, so of course I am polite and accept it from him. Did I read it? Heck no! Even if I follow no religion as such, I do own a copy of the bible and several other religious texts, and I am capable of making up my own mind on the subject without bieng assaulted at work with it.

Anyhow, the whole point of this is not about religion, it's about people trying to force ANYTHING on others. Especially when it is unsolicited. I don't like people on strike telling me where to shop, I don't like people telling me who to vote for, and I sure as HELL don't like people telling me my eternal soul is in peril.

If I want information about anything, I know where to pick up a newspaper or a reference book, I obviously know where the internet is, and I know exactly where most of the churches in my community are.

So why oh why do people feel they need to call my house, stand on street corners, knock on my front door, put flyers on my windsheild and all that other crud? If you ARE one of these people who do this kind of thing in your free time, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!!

I gave at the office, I have some at home, I am a different religion and don't like yours, and I am FAR to busy and poor to help your noble cause. thanks anyway, but hey, my next door neighbor could use what you have.

:banana:

( yeah, yeah, not Marine Corps related or anything, I just felt the need to vent)

[Sgted]

HardJedi.

Your rant is well taken and very valid.

[mrbsox]

Our Pastor told us one I'm going to try next time one of 'them' comes to the door @0700 one Saturday morning.

Door Bell (plays Marine Corps Hymn), dog goes crazy

Unlock door, open, "HUSH Trotsey"
"Hello, can I help you ?"

"Good morning Sir, we are from the (insert brand of church here) and we want to know if you are going to heaven ??

Fall to knees, raise hands in the air..
"Lord, thank you for giving me this opportunity to save some MORE of these heathens"

Invite them in !!!

Terry

[HardJedi]

Originally posted by mrbsox
Fall to knees, raise hands in the air..
"Lord, thank you for giving me this opportunity to save some MORE of these heathens"






that would be SOOO funny. something similar to that yellowing and i were discussing through pms.


I USED to keep a wiccan bible( witch craft book) near my front door, and offer to trade mine for thiers. it worked pretty good most times. to bad I can't keep it at work :)


and NO i am NOT into witch craft. I bought it for JUST that purpose.

[yellowwing]

I went to a Veterans burial today. The Minister said something that I almost burst out laughing at, "When preaching the Gospel, its as easy to empty a Church as to fill it!"

[HardJedi]

Originally posted by Shaffer
Jesus loves you!

THIS, I KNOW! ( cause the bible told me so)

LMAO!


soory, couldn't resist!

like I said, this is not about religion, it just happens that a religious person teed me off today is all. :)

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by HardJedi
WHAT???? Do I have sinner ...tattoed across my forehead ?



So, how long have you been an unrepentant sinner?

LOL

[HardJedi]

ummm........ every time I get caught by the ol lady?

:banana:

[greybeard]

Originally posted by HardJedi
ummm........ every time I get caught by the ol lady?

:banana:

It happened more than once--and you're still around to tell of it?
The lady must have a heart of gold and the patience of Job.
Now that I've got your attention, let me tell you about Job.
1 ¶ There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job. And that man was perfect and upright, and one who feared God and turned aside from evil.
2 And there were born to him seven sons and three daughters.
3 And his possessions were seven thousand sheep and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household, ................................

:banana:
Is dat how it happens?
:D

[HardJedi]

aww come on grey beard! I am talking about RELATIONSHIP sins! you know, likeleaving the seat up, or mixing colors and whites in the laundry! LOL never commited any REAL sins with her! ( ok, unless you count pre-marital... but wait,) never mind :D

[greybeard]

(I wuz pullin your leg there Jedi.) Sometimes I think those relationhip sins are worse than all the others. :D

[MillRatUSMC]

I've been subject to this, my reponse;
"I respect you enough, not to seek you change you religion,
I wish that you would respect me enough not to seek my changing my religion".
My son told me once that one young man, said to another young man;
"Bang your dead, are you going to Heaven or Hell"?
The second young man replied;
"I'm going to Heaven, while your going to Hell for commiting murder".
That killed that conversation in the butt...

Semper Fidelis/Semper Fi
Ricardo

[HardJedi]

Ahh MillRat, since that would seem a childish approach, someone yelling "bang you're dead" I'd give em the same response as when we used to play war as kids.

" no WAY! I was DODGING! you missed! NEENER! ":banana:

[USMCWifeNMom]

A Few Quick Tips from Mom:

#1 Just because the phone rings does not mean you "have to" answer it.

#2 When the doorbell rings, see rule number one and insert "doorbell" in place of "phone."

#3 When someone asks an intrusive question, ask them why they ask. They typically capitulate.

#4 Having good manners sometimes means putting up with other peoples bad manners.

#5 Practice silence. It's often misinterpreted but never misquoted.

[HardJedi]

good advice Mom! ( don't mothers ALWAY'S give good advice?) :D

[enviro]

How to Get Rid of Jehovah's Witnesses as found on the internet

1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate results)

2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of charity lasts.

3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

4. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the "Alpha & Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.

5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) ...and don't come back.

6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)

7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.

8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

9. (males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...] throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7) If they're still there when you are done, Ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.

10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.

When you open the door and there's one there saying, "hello, I'm collecting for the Jehovah's witnesses...", interrupt them and say, "Great, I'm Jehovah. How much have we made so far?"


A chalk outline of a human body on the sidewalk, and a few copies of The Watchtower scattered around...


My mother (a second-generation atheist) used to say (in a very sweet voice): "I'm sorry, I don't give a damn about Jesus." Worked everytime. The Witnesses just backed off the porch in slack-jawed, bug-eyed disbelief.


Agreed, we are not prepared for this one, but it has to be carried off perfectly. The more sincere you appear, the more baffled the Witness will be: Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say "Allah be Praised!!!" and just see what happens.


Automatic weapons are undeniably the best deterrent to Witnesses. For extra effect, fire a few rounds into the air or towards their car. Pretend you hear a voice inside your head telling you to kill the witness. Guaranteed to stop future visits for several years.


The young couple came to my door. I was wearing my robe, and had just awakened. Now let me explain, I am a very unusual looking person anyway, but when I awake, I look like some kind of movie monster, I have hair all over everywhere. I made my eyes real piercing, and stared past them. I knew who they were, you can tell, they look so cute in their getup and their bland faces.Well the female one obviously is supposed to do the introduction because she sort of panicked, and said: "We're...we're...we're..we're....we're...." And then she stared helplessly at the other one and he said: "uh... uh.... uh... uh..."I then did a really fierce grin and stuck out my hand in a very fast gesture, and opened all my fingers, and in a voice sort of a mixture between Peter Lore and Lurch, I said: I... WILL... TAKE... YOUR... LITERATURE... AND... GIVE... IT... TO... MY... MASTER. The male one quickly handed me a copy of whatever rag they were peddling. they did not ask for a donation.They ran.It's a true story, and they never came back.


A friend claims that when Jehovah's Witlesses knock on her door, her first response is to ask for their address. When they ask why she wants to know, she says it is so she can visit them to push her beliefs. So far, none of them have given their address. It also marks the end of the interview. SLAM!


A guy goes up to my friend's friend and asks, "Can I talk to you about God?" She says, "Sure, what would you like to know?"


JW ladies come to the door. One of them has small child in tow. Interrupts SIW's dinner. If you knew SIW like I knew SIW, you wouldn't do that. SIW: Thank you, but I already have a religion. JW: May I ask what it is? SIW: I'd really rather not say. {Pregnant pause} I'm not sure if it's legal in this country. Supposedly they gave her a real strange look on their way back down the stairs.


I answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."

[cjwright90]

I bet if you repeated everything they said back to them exactly as they said it, they might leave you alone. The ol' copy cat trick.

Them: Do know where you are going when you die?
You: Do know where you are going when you die?
Them: Is your afterlife going to be spent in Heaven or Hell?
You: Is your afterlife going to be spent in Heaven or Hell?
You get it...it might work. Get really annoying with them, ask them thier tailor, compliment the shoes they are wearing.

[cjwright90]

Or maybe try the ink in the squirtgun trick from the other post...

[HardJedi]

Originally posted by enviro

When you open the door and there's one there saying, "hello, I'm collecting for the Jehovah's witnesses...", interrupt them and say, "Great, I'm Jehovah. How much have we made so far?"





think I'll keep that one in mind LOL

[USMCWifeNMom]

lol at the responses! Thanks "kids" this old mama needs some laughs!!

I've personally tried the "answer the door nekked" trick ... didn't work as well as I thought ... the males were a little slower leaving than I felt comfortable with ... but then again I didn't have a weapon in my hand!

[jfreas]

" Jesus Loves You" but everyone else thinks you'rean a@#hole. hehehe, is what I tell'em.