View Full Version : WHEN I DIE!

09-19-02, 06:57 AM
Have you ever looked at the obituaries? So and so husband, father of, was a .... Etc.


When I die I don't want anyone to Cry
I figures, everyone will be crying for himself or herself anyways
I know where I'll be, but I don't think you want to be with me at this time, so no need to cry.

Here's what I would like for my obituary to read.

Cook Barela died yesterday
He was a Marine, an artist, a photographer, writer, historian and got under many a politicians skin
He was tall dark and handsome
Very good looking actually
A lot of women are expected at his funeral
Please call for a reservation

09-19-02, 07:28 AM
"Once He Wasn't"
" Then He Was"
" Now He Ain't Again"

" It Don't Mean Nuthin"

09-19-02, 09:05 AM
im stil roflmmfao!!!!!
I'll post lata when im done laughing

09-19-02, 09:22 AM
NamGrunt68. Sir,

I owe you one. Maybe more than one. I AWAYS pay me debts.


Different strokes for different folks. In MY present situation, I've told my wife I want a Vikings funeral. Put me into a skiff, set it afire, and push it into the bay. Collect as much as you can on behalf of our children before anyone finds out that I am gone.

Semper Fi

09-19-02, 10:10 AM
I have been painfully specific with my wife as to what is, and is not to, to be at my funeral.

To Be:

1) Clowns -- lots of 'em
2) Balloons -- Clowns need 'em
3) Beer -- Just beer too, none of that wine cooler crap
4) Wings and Pizza -- preferably from Hungry Howies (A Tallahassee delight)
5) music -- preferably Steve Earle, Dwight Yokam, the Jayhawks and the like...

Not To Be:

1) Crying -- if anyone crys they get ejected
2) formal dress -- shorts and a tee shirt would be more than fine
3) droning on about how great I was -- Hey, I can be a real pain in the *ss too.
4) Any discussion that asks why I had to go.

I want my funeral to be a good time. A celebration of life. Funerals are too darn depressing if you ask me... I want to break some molds. :p

09-19-02, 11:33 AM
I like what one of my sergeants had to say. It was after a funeral service for a fellow Marine (none of us knew him - but he was from the MAG) who had died in a motorcycle accident. When the service was over and we were back at out shop. We were all respectfully solmn - but still Marines. One of our sergeants then says.. "when I die... I want a kegger and I want 'em to play 'Schools Out' by Alice Cooper."

I've always thought that was fitting.

09-19-02, 04:10 PM
but my brother told us that he wants, at his funeral, the songs "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen and then "Alive" by POD. He wants everybody at his funeral laughing, because that's how he likes it now.


09-19-02, 05:16 PM
I be proud to be on the receiving end o one bro !!! Hey, really I already got mine set up also.....gonna have some Nam bro's here if I go before them......6 to plant me properly, 2 road guards and 1 rightous mutha calling cadence !! And there are some people on a list that they gonna make sure don't get in !!!

Thats why we always say, Phuc um all, but the nine.......

09-19-02, 05:37 PM
When I Die I HOPE The World is a better Place than it is now.
as far as my body goes...I'll be done with it. Throw it in the dumster.

P.S. U B Stylin Dane. Semper Fi, Bro I don't have that many friends

09-19-02, 08:43 PM
....then mix the ashes with epoxy and using molds.....

...turn me into special presents fer all my lady friends......

Wouldn't be the first time I was called a __________!

Then ya can play that song...."when I die I may not go to heaven...."

09-19-02, 08:44 PM

The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under the four corners of a mattress in a hospital that is busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment, a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function, that for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my
body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called The Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen the sunrise, a baby's face, or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused them nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he may live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends upon a machine to

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow, so that someday, a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses,
and all prejudice against my fellow man.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.

If you do all I have asked, I will live forever......

Semper Fi

09-19-02, 10:27 PM
Oh My Gosh firstsgtmike that was Tight.

For me:

Do Not Cry For Me

I'm sorry I had to leave.
A distant voice called me home.
There was so much left for us to share,
so much I never got to say.
But my pain is far behind me,
my confusion finally laid to rest.
What you do now will be the test.

I died too early, but I always knew I would.
I lived life the way I wanted,
and always looked for something good in everyone.
As I look down upon you now,
my hopes for you are still strong.
Better to have loved and lost,
but we haven't lost for long.

Don't cry for me, beloved Friends.
I've risen beyond this world of fear.
Hold my friendship in your memory,
and always know that I am near.
I know the grief will nearly kill you.
Dry your eyes, and carry on.
Remember me, for through your lives my spirit will live on.

09-19-02, 10:45 PM
I came to this conclusion about 3 weeks ago.

Been thinking a lot about death lately. Iíve lost 3 good friends this year alone.

Lost my Best friend and 16 year business partner back in March.

I hosted a memorial card party for him. We set his place at the table, with his favorite beer and smokes, and each of us took turns playing his hand, smoking his smokes and drinking his beer.

Didnít help his game much though, he lost his last 65 bucks, but we all had a good time remembering, and as it turned out, it was the best memorial service I had ever attended.

Yup, I think for me itís going to be Arlington, Been married and divorced twice and I have no children, Arlington makes sense, and HE!!, Iíll be eternally watched over by both living and dead heroes.

Hey Bones, I do like yer epoxy idea, very creative. How about WRBones SGT USMC Paperweights, You can add a Brass Emblem for a little extra weight... Just a thought, thereís tons of possibilities here! LOL

Semper Fi,
Bob Neener

09-20-02, 01:32 AM
You done gave me an idea.

Is there a market for recycled ashes from cremated bodies?
You could put the stuff in one of those 60's type of lava lamps, and once in awhile flip it over and see the ashes float down slowly.

Imagine bones in a lava lamp? he did say, he wanted something shaped like that and to be a flower...LOL


or in one of those wave motion thingy



firstsgtmike And JAMarine, good post, enjoyed them. Almost made my eyes water.

09-21-02, 02:12 PM

LOL Bones,

09-21-02, 02:28 PM
Originally posted by wrbones
....then mix the ashes with epoxy and using molds.....

...turn me into special presents fer all my lady friends......

Wouldn't be the first time I was called a __________!

Then ya can play that song...."when I die I may not go to heaven...."

It would need to be operated by a heavy duty Durcell battery, otherwise Bones may not be able to keep it in motion. LMAO

09-21-02, 02:51 PM
With the ladies around here, ya gota think big!

09-23-02, 05:07 PM
The best funeral I ever went to was for a biker buddy of mine. We always thought he'd get killed by some mad husband - but no - he had a heart attack in Florida. Had him cremated and returned to the AO in a can.

His wish? To be loaded into Budweiser cans and fired out of a mortar over the desert of Central Oregon. One of the former Viet Nam Marines there built a mortar and we launched him out to the tunes of "Hooray!!" Had one heck of a party. He was a large guy though and it took nearly a case of empties to get all of him fired up (pardon the pun).

Now that was fun - but then every biker funeral I went to was a blast.

09-23-02, 11:10 PM

09-24-02, 12:35 PM
wow, seeing everyone talking about the end of their lives when i havent even really started to begin mine yet is awkward. ive had a feeling all my life that id die young, i just cant see me any older the about 25. and if it happens like that, so let it be. death happens and theres no point in fretting on it b/c all it brings is eternal life and a chance to meet the Maker. When i die i dont want anyone there crying or grieving. id like a few kegs with my name on 'em, some chinese acrobats, a danceing bannana :banana: and a few of my closest friends all having a great time and having a party in my name and playing a huge game of football and getting drunk. possibly cremation afterwards with my ashes burried under a football field. thats my dream funeral. and im going to be sure to put it in my will when the time comes to make one ": and to everyone, a case of beer and a hell of a good time" God Bless you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps hell maybe even send me to meet this guy :alien: LOL

09-24-02, 12:36 PM
When I was in the Philippines, I often heard this stated by the local women. 'Marine never take shower, Marine never wear underwear, Marine never die!'


Semper Fi!