Happy St. Patrick Day

[MillRatUSMC]

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It's a great to wear the green, as in Marine Corps green.

[thedrifter]

To My Irish Family.....

Happy St. Paddy's Day


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An Irish Prayer~

May God grant you always
A sunbeam to warm you
A moonbeam to charm you
A sheltering Angel
So nothing can harm you
Laughter to cheer you
Faithful friends near you
And whenever you pray
Heaven to hear you.


Love


Ellie, Rodger, Kris, Tony and Pam

[Kurt Stover]

ST. PATRICK'S DAY SELF-HELP GUIDE
St. Patrick's Day: the one day of the year when the 2% of the world's population
that's Irish gets the other 98% completely faced.

Leg 1: 7a.m. to 9 a.m.

Rise and shine early. Take a long, hot shower, and liberally use aftershave, perfume, cologne, deodorant and powders afterwards, because by 3p.m., you will be excreting raw alcohol and other poisons, and without proper preparations, you will smell like a three-day dead cat wrapped in a fraternity carpet. The bars open at 9, so use this time to prepare.

Collect the following supplies and put them in a place where you will easily be able to find it in an impaired condition. (We recommend the bathroom floor, between the toilet and the baseboard heater, since that's where you'll probably end up):

1 quart spring water
1 bottle aspirin
5 pairs Depends undergarment
1 bottle Percocet
1 gram morphine sulfate
1 oz. human adrenaline extract
1 recharged electric defibrillator
4 Cardiac needles
1 trauma surgeon
Brew a strong pot of coffee. Add 9oz. Jameson Irish whiskey and drink.

(Note: Coffee should be drunk liberally throughout the day. There is a reason that the Irish invented Irish Coffee; unless you ingest a large volume of artificial stimulants throughout the course of St. Patrick's Day, you are going to die. )

Arrange to be picked up to be taken to the bar by 8:45 a.m. We cannot stress enough that you should not drink and drive. There is no reason to chance losing your license or killing someone in a drunken state, when you have plenty of idiot friends willing to take that risk on your behalf.

Leg 2: 9 a.m. to 11 a.m.

Arrive at the bar right when it opens. Make sure this is an Irish bar, if at all possible. An Irish bar in Boston is the best, since 'Boston' in Gaelic means 'West Kilarney'. However, almost every city in America has bars called 'The Blarney Stone', 'McSomethings', or 'The Dirty Mick'.

(Just try to ignore the fact that the bar is probably owned by Koreans).
Secure a barstool, and do not leave it under any circumstances. The bar is liable to be packed by noon, and real Irish people do not wait in line for drinks-no matter what the consequences. While we do recommend the use of an adult undergarment to mask unpleasant smells, it really doesn't matter. By afternoon, you'll be sopping wet with spilled beer anyway, and your mild urine smell will be completely overpowered by the toxic stench of vomit.

We recommend starting out with a few more Irish Coffees to spike the stimulant level, however, you should not order an "Irish Coffee," as you will be given a fruity little glass mug topped with whipped cream and a cherry, and some guy named Shamus will call you a yuppie poseur while putting a cigarette out on your neck. Ask for coffee with whiskey and ask the bartender to leave the whipped cream can, as nothing will add spice to your day like the occasional whippet.

Leg 3: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

It's lunchtime! You may not be hungry, but it's important to eat something, because like Sheriff Bart said in Blazing Saddles:" Man drink like that, and don't eat-he is going to die."

If you want to maintain your buzz and not get that hideous, bloated feeling that could slow down your drinking, there are only two options: popcorn or Pop Tarts. Both have the carbohydrates you'll need to give you energy, both will soak up excess bile in your stomach, and both have names that are hard to slur. If you start slurring your words too early, you'll hear the most frightening phrase in the English language on St. Patrick's Day besides "I'm pregnant": "You're cut off".

By now, you should switch off of coffee drinks to beer. You have only one option here: Guinness stout. You may be tempted to order green beer, but remember: beer doesn't always turn green because of food coloring.

Leg 4: 2 p.m. to 7 p.m.

By now, the bar is definitely crowded, as people take long lunches and bail out of work early to tie one on. If you're doing your job correctly, the bar should look twice or three times as crowded as it really is.

By now, you may be in conversation with some real Irish people, since the person you came with has likely been taken away by ambulance. Some conversational points to remember when talking to the Irish are:

Football really means Soccer, and you should be more passionate about it than you are about your wife or husband. ...AND The English are all ****-arsed, pig-fruiting bastahds who should be lined up and kicked into the Liffey.

If you remember those two points, as well at least three derogatory names for Margaret Thatcher, you can talk to the Irish for hours. You should continue to drink Guinness throughout this leg, although you may want to have another Irish Coffee if your heartbeat has become irregular.

The Home Stretch: 7 p.m. to Closing

Your goal, of course, is to be the last person to leave the bar at closing time. This will be impossible, since a blood alcohol content of .50 usually equals death, and you should be pushing a .35 or .40 by now.

The only way for a true Irishman to leave a bar before closing time with honor is to be hauled away by the police. Throw a punch. It doesn't matter who you hit or why; no one's made any sense since 3 o'clock, anyway. You will be beaten mercilessly, since your fine motor control has been gone since the late morning, but it doesn't matter since you can't feel anything.

Depending on your community, the police should arrive within fifteen minutes to scrape you off the floor and clap you in irons. The final impression you leave is the most important: as you are being dragged from the bar, begin screaming that you want to take your drink with you. You will be a legend, and by now the friend who took you to the bar should have had his or her stomach pumped, and will be able to bail you out.

By following these simple guidelines, your St. Patrick's Day experience would be one you would never forget if it weren't physically and biologically impossible for you to remember any of it.

[CAS3]

May the Road Rise to Meet You.
May the Wind Be Always At Your Back.
May the Sun Shine Warm Upon Your Face, the Rains Fall Soft Upon Your Fields and until We Meet Again,
May GOD Hold You In The Palm Of His Hand.

Happy St. Paddie's

Colleen

[Super Dave]

Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.'

[Osotogary]

Hear's to all the immigrant families who had to change their names to Irish ones just to be admitted to the United States.
Here's just to enjoying St. Patricks Day- no matter where you are from, no matter what your name.
Have a good one.
Gary(osotogary)

[MillRatUSMC]

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An Irish Blessing

May you live as long as you want to,

And may you want to as long as you live.

May you be poor in misfortune,

Rich in blessings,

Slow to make enemies,

Quick to make friends,

But rich or poor,

quick or slow,

May you know nothing but happiness

From this day forward.

"A man or woman is measured
by the footprint,
he or she leaves behind"

"They were the best you had, America,
and you turned your back on them".
~ Joe Galloway ~ Speaking about Vietnam Veterans

TO THOSE WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES
THAT OTHERS MAY SAY PROUDLY
I AM A MARINE

Semper Fidelis
Ricardo

[DSchmitke]

A Happy St. Paddy's Day To All.

[usmc4669]

This is for all of you Irish Leprechaun's