View Full Version : Overbearing mother is a pain....

02-23-04, 09:24 PM
Man my mom is ticking me off so much. She really is against me enlisting right now. Her reason, we're at war, and I could die. So, she'd lose her only son. She says I'm not thinking about her in this. But I mean, that's why it's my decision, and why I'm doing it to better my own life. I'm not going to live my life to please others, by doing what they think is right, or might hurt them later, physically or emotionally. Anyways, she hasn't said no yet, but she might not sign my release until right before I want to ship off (Sept. 7). Which I hate, because my MOS might be taken (Avi. Elec.). In which case, I might wait until it opens, which would be just what she wants, so I wouldn't leave yet. But, it's just really irritating that I'll have to put off my life plans, because of someone's emotional problems. Even if it is my mother. December 31st, my 18th birthday seems so far away... Any advice?

02-23-04, 09:58 PM
Don't burn bridges you may need to re-cross later. Mothers have worried and argued against military service as long as men have joined up. It is natural for her to be scared for you. Don't hold that against her.

As for your MOS billet, if it is filled by the time you enter service and graduate Boot Camp, the Marine Corps will place you in another sector where you are needed. It happens. I originally signed up with "promises"of going AirWing. I ended up in the Infantry because the Corps needed grunts more, when my boot training was complete.

Being in Aviation/Electronics as a ground technician won't guarantee you won't be shot at. It won't protect you during a missile attack. But it is safer than infantry or armor MOS's, unless you crew a helicopter. Tell your mother that.

If that doesn't change her. and she won't sign your waiver, then just wait until you are 18. Don't fight about it, since it will leave you bitter inside, and that will affect how you do your job.

Remember this, you only get one mother in this life. Don't destroy her in order to attain your goal. Marines don't disregard their support bases. That is part of learning leadership.


02-23-04, 10:11 PM
Wow. Thanks a lot namgrunt. That really speaks deep. I guess I'm being a little rash on the whole deal. Worse comes to worse I'll just wait the 9 and a half months and deal with it. And from what I've been told, when I sign my MOS contract after MEPS, I'm guaranteed that job as long as I don't screw up correct? I'll probably post another topic on this question later. Well I'm dead tired.

On a side note,
Nightly PT Report:
155 Crunches, 40 Push-ups.

Semper Fi,

02-23-04, 10:48 PM
my mom was the same way..... her thing was she couldnt live with herself if anything were to happen to me because she would have been the one to sign the papers...its a natural motherly thing......may not seem "fair" to u.....but some things you just have to live with in life cause its not like u can force her to sign the papers or anything

02-23-04, 11:05 PM
umm if you are the only son in the family doesn't that mean you basically have no chance of going to war anyway....

02-23-04, 11:16 PM
Not necessarily. Only sons have served in combat. Some have been killed in action. I have no experience with regulations concerning exclusion from combat. Someone in the Judge Advocate General's office would have to answer that question. During WWII and Vietnam, some men were not called up for Selective Service (draft) on that basis, but they had to fill forms and apply for the exemption. It was not automatically given.

You need to talk to a military lawyer, or someone who is more familiar with the regulations. I'm not that person.


02-23-04, 11:59 PM

namgrunt has given you some good advice - take it.

Speaking as the mother of an only son, who will be shipping to Iraq on 10 June, I can understand your mother's concerns. And, as the wife of an only son who was sent to Viet Nam (and served three tours there), being an only son does not keep you out of a hot zone.

Now, as to your statement = "it's really irritating that I have to put off my life plans because of someone's emotional problems" - you need to get your head on straight - and fast!

Ever think that your mother may have had to put off plans because of you? Maybe she wanted to have an exciting job, travel the world or other such dreams. But, she gave birth to you -and that was her "life plan" - to raise you, teach you right from wrong, to love your country and be a person of character.

She has loved you from the day you were born - and will love you until she has drawn her last breath, and beyond. If her love for you is an emotional problem, be grateful that you have such a problem. There a great many kids who do not have that love - and will never have it.

December 31 is not that far away - and the Corps will be there.

02-24-04, 03:17 PM
Thanks "mom"! :) You speak wise words. I understand that she probably did have to put her life on hold for me, and I should respect that and do the same if she requests.

As for the emotional problems I was talking about, my mom suffers from depression among other things. Frequent migraines, tiredness, high blood pressure, etc. So, I'm sure they might affect her decision, and my choice is probably not helping her. But, I will continue to wait until either she signs my release, or I turn 18.

her thing was she couldnt live with herself if anything were to happen to me because she would have been the one to sign the papers
That's exactly how my mom feels too, and the fact my grandparents keep telling her this too, doesn't help.

This is why I love this board, nowhere else would I find such helpful, unbiases opinions. Thanks everyone.

Semper Fi,

02-24-04, 06:36 PM
no problem anytime.....thats why i come here to get help and help others as much as i can to my knowledge

02-24-04, 09:59 PM
I understand where you're coming from, while my mom wasn't against me joining the Corps, she is against pretty much everything else. She is very overprotective, but I guess that is for the best. Give it time man, she'll come around. There is nothing quite like the honor of serving your country, eventually she'll realize this and be proud. She is probably just scared, what she doesn't think about is you have a better chance dying in a car wreck (knock on wood) than in the Marines. Keep up the PT, I'm sure we'll need it in boot.

Super Dave
02-24-04, 10:41 PM
It took me 6 monthe to convice my parents to sign foir me, and we weren't at war then either. Bit i finially did it and the signed on the dotted line. They knoew that if they didn't, the day I turned 18 I was signing on my own.

02-24-04, 10:55 PM
Originally posted by Omega
umm if you are the only son in the family doesn't that mean you basically have no chance of going to war anyway....
"Only Sons" and the draft

Contrary to popular belief, "only sons," "the last son to carry the family name," and "sole surviving sons" must register and they can be drafted. However, they may be entitled to a peacetime deferment if there is a military death in the immediate family.

Provisions regarding the survivors of veterans were written into Selective Service law after World War II. Details have varied over the years, but the basic premise remains the same; where a family member has been lost as a result of military service, the remaining family members should be protected insofar as possible.

It is important to keep in mind that the provisions are directly related to service-connected deaths. The mere fact that a man is the only child or only son does not qualify him for consideration - he must be the survivor of one who died as a result of military service.

The present law provides a peacetime exemption for anyone whose parent or sibling was killed in action, died in line of duty, or died later as a result of disease or injury incurred in line of duty while serving in the armed forces of the United States. Also included are those whose parent or sibling is in a captured or missing status as a result of service in the armed forces during any period of time. This is known as the "surviving son or brother" provision. A man does not have to be the only surviving son in order to qualify; if there are four sons in a family and one dies in the line of duty, the remaining three would qualify for surviving son or brother status under the present law.

The surviving son or brother provision is applicable only in peacetime. It does not apply in time of war or national emergency declared by the Congress.

The original law, passed in 1948, exempted the sole surviving son of a family where one or more sons or daughters died as a result of military service. No restriction existed at that time to limit the exemption to peacetime. The provision was intended to protect families which had lost a member in World War II.

In 1964, recognizing that sons of World War II veterans were reaching draft age, Congress changed the law to include the sole surviving son of a family where the father, or one or more sons or daughters, died as a result of military service. At this time the peacetime-only restriction was also added to the law.

A further change was made in 1971, expanding the exemption to any son, not necessarily the sole surviving son, of a family where the father, brother or sister died as a result of military service. This provision was recently expanded to include mothers.


02-24-04, 11:09 PM
Fortunate Son

Claim: Being an only child (or an only son) automatically exempts you from military service.
Status: False.

Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2001]

As an only son, I have heard a few times before that there is an "only son clause" law with the military. Meaning that since I am an only son, I cannot be drafted for war. Is this true?

Origins: The belief that being the only child (or the only male child) in a family exempts one from compulsory military service is a widespread but erroneous belief, a misunderstanding of Select Service rules enacted after World War II.

Popular fact-based World War II films such as The Fighting Sullivans and Saving Private Ryan have dramatized cases where several brothers from the same family were all killed in action. The Fighting Sullivans recounts the true story of the Sullivan brothers, all five of whom died when the ship to which they were assigned, the USS Juneau, was sunk by a Japanese torpedo during the Battle of Guadalcanal on 13 November 1942. Saving Private Ryan tells a fictionalized story based on the real experience of Sgt. Fritz Niland of the 101st Airborne, who was removed from a combat zone in France and sent home by the Army after all three of his brothers were killed in action during the same week in June 1944.

In 1948, in order to safeguard the only remaining sons of families that had lost other children during World War II, the United States passed a law that exempted sole surviving sons from the draft. This exemption applied only when one or more children (sons or daughters) from the family had already died or been killed during military service. In 1964 this law was modified to extend the exemption to sons who were the only surviving male offspring of fathers who had died as a result of military service, and at the same time the exemption was altered to apply only to peacetime drafts. This law was modified again in 1971 to extend the exemption to any son (not necessarily the only surviving son) whose father or brother (or sister) had died in military service.

So, to clear up the misunderstandings, note that:

You are not exempt from military service simply because you are an only child or an only son. You are exempt only if one of your siblings or parents (mothers are now included as well) has died as a result of military service.

You do not have to be a sole remaining son to meet this requirement - the exemption applies to all remaining sons from qualified families.

This exemption is not in effect during wartime.

(Although all American men are required to register with the Selective Service upon turning 18, the U.S. does not currently have a peacetime draft, having converted to an all-volunteer military in 1973. Whether a draft held while U.S. forces were engaged in military action but war had not officially been declared - as in the current situation - would be considered a "peacetime" draft or a "wartime" draft is debatable; our query to the Selective Service received only the circular answer that since no draft is in effect at this time, we are considered to be at peace.)


02-26-04, 06:30 AM
We as Marines hold very few things dear to our hearts, those are God, Country, and Family. The First two don't need much defining, Family though is different. Marines will bust on just about everything we refer to our girlfriends as Suzy rotten crotch, sisters pictures go on the "hog" board, But our mothers are never, ever to be harped on period. To say something in bad taste about another Marines mother is a quick invitation to a Knuckle Sandwich for lunch.

02-26-04, 07:19 AM

One question and two comments.

1. Is your dad in your life, if so, what is his position?

2. Wait till you're 18, no need to stress your mom right now as it serves no purpose.

3. If you think she is "overbearing" wait till you meet your DI's !

02-26-04, 10:48 AM
I went in when I was only 17. My recruiter reminding my parents that my 18th birthday wasn't too far off and I would sign the papers myself then anyway worked wonders :)