Help, parents pressuring me into college.

[kingjack26]

Hello, I'm 18 years old and graduated High school 6 months ago. I've been wanting to Join the Marines since elementary school. Theres one problem; my mother and my aunt who are very involved in my life. My mother and aunt are pressuring me to do a semester in community college in which I have to pay for out of my own pockets. I don't have a job because I babysit my cousin all of the time so my hours would be weird and part time. My mother tries to compare me to my crazy cousin that lost his **** at boot camp before I was born. And My mom and aunt disagree with the Marines completely and said that I'm not mentally ready and I should mature or whatever. My parents met my amazing recruiter last night and they are very fond of him. And now my parents want me to stall for a long ass time before I take the asvab at the office etc and go to MEPS. I can't just do it behind their backs because my mother has my birth certificate and refuses to give it to me unless I do everything on her terms completely. And I honestly do not want to go to college. My mother manipulates things into her favor such as me having a dream of a woman telling em to go to college etc so she says it's a "sign" from God telling me to go before the Military or whatever. Please help. I'm tired of stalling and I just want to get this over with and join, keep in mind my father joined the Navy 20 years ago and my mothers a know it all military spouse so she thinks she knows every thing about the Military which is really annoying. She constantly gets mad when I bring up the Military and I don't know what to do, I don't want to go to college if I know it will literally be a waste of time. She thinks it will give me life experience and etc. My mother thinks I'm rushing my career and life and I should "just be a kid" whatever that means. But I'm different from most kids, I want to start my career and not end up being a confused loser working for minimum wage not having a meaning. My parents call me ungrateful because I want to move on with my life and become independent as I've been sheltered my entire life. Thanks guys and sorry this is a mess, I'm just tired of this revolving cycle of hell

[madinfidel]

Ok son I'm not one to normally get involved in matters of family but I will this time. First off you need to realize that your family obviously loves you or they would show no interest in your future whatsoever. Secondly don't feel like you're the only man this age who has faced resistance in joining the military let alone our beloved Marine Corps. The thought of sending a child to the military is difficult for all parents and sometimes it's even harder for parents who are familiar with the workings of it. Case in point, I am glad to have retired after thirty years from the Marine Corps but absolutely hit the overhead when my 17 year old daughter came home announcing the fact that she was joining the Marine Corps after graduation. Why? Because it's always a parent's wish that their kids had it easier than they did. You see a parent can be proud of a kid's patriotism and still not want it to be a active career choice. Hell, I would be happy to send her to Tulane where she was accepted and scratch **** with the chickens to pay for it if it was my choice. But, it's not my choice.... It's hers and I'm proud as hell for her making it. Now to you.... It's really cut and dry. You're 18 years old and the choice is ultimately yours. Period. It matters not if you find yourself in a college classroom or standing on the yellow footprints at MCRD, you're the only one who will be there. YOU... Nobody else but you. All parents reach a point where they have to come to the realization that they have to let go of their kids and allow them to live their lives, some do so more easily than others. So I guess what I'm saying is that this decision rests totally on your shoulders and you're the only one who will face the consequences of your choices be they good or bad. You need to make the decision that's best for you, just try to do it in a manner that is still respectful of your parents because at the end of the day they gave you life and the opportunity to do so. Good Luck

[kingjack26]

Yeah I understand that, but she's keeping my brith certificate from me and threatens to kick me out on my ass if I even ask for it

[madinfidel]

Btw.. You can easily apply for a replacement birth certificate yourself...

[kingjack26]

Costs money that I don't have due me not being able to get a job because of babysitting 24/7

[Zulu 36]

I too am reluctant to get involved, but I'm going to anyway.

If you know where you were born (sounds dumb, but you'd be surprised how many don't), at 18 you can order a certified copy of your own birth certificate from that city or county clerk's office. It's always good to have an extra copy available anyway. 99.9% of clerk's offices are on-line, so a Google search should provide you the info needed to get that copy.

Once you get the certificate, it will be time to man up and tell mom you're a legal adult and have decided your life's course for at least the short-term. Be polite and respectful, but firm.

Both me (duh) and my ex-wife served in the military. When our oldest daughter announced she was joining the Air Force Reserves, we supported her decision. It was her life. Now she has 12-years in, is a Tech Sergeant (in a Master Sergeant slot), and is doing quite well. She's an Afghan vet too.

Good luck.

[Kegler300]

I stopped reading at "I'm 18 years old" ...

[kingjack26]

Read the full thing

[Tennessee Top]

What I see are a lot of excuses why you can't do something. If you're not willing to take control of your life, don't know how you expect others to. We cannot solve these problems for you. If you really want to move on then move on. If you want to continue making excuses for your situation then do that.

One of our 14 leadership traits is decisiveness (ability to make decisions). If you don't possess that trait, then we can't use you.

You are old enough to know what you want to do and you're old enough to do it. Life is not easy - the Marine Corps is even harder.

You have been given solid advice. It's your choice what to do with it.

Good luck

[kingjack26]

These aren't excuses but the reasons why I'm unable to. If i join and take my birth certificate without my mothers blessing. I'm outcasted by my family and called selfish, ungrateful and everything else. And not to mention they say I'm disobeying God because of some stupid ass dream I had

[Kegler300]

Sucks to be an adult and have to make decisions.

[madinfidel]

These aren't excuses but the reasons why I'm unable to. If i join and take my birth certificate without my mothers blessing. I'm outcasted by my family and called selfish, ungrateful and everything else. And not to mention they say I'm disobeying God because of some stupid ass dream I had
I stand corrected, you'll never make it off the bus....

[Tennessee Top]

That's cool. Then, forget about military service, and look at other options your family can support. It's not the end of the world.

[kingjack26]

That ain't happenin

[Tennessee Top]

Then. Stop talking about it (and asking others for advice) and make it happen.

[Hammer]

Good luck to you; but I seriously doubt that with your attitude that you won't make it past the recruiter; and if you do; a DI will send you home to mama, where you belong.

[kingjack26]

My attitude?Look, I came here for advice on what to do to get support. Not get told I'm not gonna make it in boot camp because I give a **** about my parents feelings as well. I didn't zay I wasn't going to enlist, I'm asking for advice on speed the process up with my parents. I thought you guys woulld be more helpful but all I'm getting is a **** ton of ******* comments.

[Marine1955]

My attitude?Look, I came here for advice on what to do to get support. Not get told I'm not gonna make it in boot camp because I give a **** about my parents feelings as well. I didn't zay I wasn't going to enlist, I'm asking for advice on speed the process up with my parents. I thought you guys woulld be more helpful but all I'm getting is a **** ton of ******* comments.

It's called tough love ,either you do it or go home to Mama and she can tell you what to do.
Sound like your just the right man to be all the man you can be join the Freaking Army they'll baby you along, we don't need mamas boys..

[Marine1955]

If you want Sympathy, go look it up it just between chit and suicide..

[kingjack26]

I don't want nor need any tough love and I ain't joinin no freakin Army. The Marines is where my heart is and that's where I'm goin

[madinfidel]

You're a little wiseass and I anxiously await your post after you get out early from boot. I and others tried to encourage you in a positive manner and all anyone heard was excuses, and now you wanna get attitude? Good luck kitten you're gonna need it.

[kingjack26]

There was maybe 1 or 2 positive comments the rest was negative

[madinfidel]

Check out krenee's post about trying to get back in after a real injury, that's the kind of men that you're up against here.

[kingjack26]

Look I apologize if I have an attitude and everything. I respect all of you Marines

[Tennessee Top]

Our purpose here is not to give everyone support or answers they obviously want to hear (you want us to tell you how misunderstood you are, and despite all the obstacles like no support from your family, you will ultimately find a way to become a Marine). It doesn't work that way. This is not a support page. This is a page where wannabes come and ask us Marines questions based on our varied experiences. Sometimes, we give answers they want to hear, and sometimes we don't. Just because an answer sounds negative, that does not mean it is unsupportive. Life is full of negativity - it's what one does to turn it into a positive.

We will give you the benefit of the doubt because you're a young civilian with no experience in anything and little knowledge of what it's like to be in todays military - let alone the Marine Corps. We do not have to, and will not put up with an attitude. Everyone here has earned the coveted title you seek. They may not tell you what you want to hear, or use the tone you want, but they all deserve your respect.

[kingjack26]

I apologize deeply

[Hammer]

Excellent post Tennessee Top! Spoken as only a Top in the Marine Corps can do...

[LordViper]

I understand the things that you are saying, and through words you are revealing that you need to get away from shackles of your home life. You can do this through team-based organizations that foster growth and provide challenges and a job/career. Organizations such as colleges, the peace corp, green peace, the air force or the Navy are good places. However, I can tell from what you consider to be obstacles in your life, you are not ready for the Marines. If you are looking to join the Marines to gain respect and to become a man, then you are joining for the wrong reasons. The Marines corp will not be kind to you and you will be miserable. Why because you are not yet ready for it. Not because of your age, but because of your mind. Perhaps someday you will be ready, however; for now do not pursue the Marines - not yet. There is no shame in being wise enough to accept that. Try the other things that I suggested first. The Marines will always be there.