SilentShot262
10-03-16, 08:18 AM
Hey Marines,
I am at a pretty low point right now. All my life all I have ever wanted to do was serve in the Marine Corps. I graduated high school this year and decided it was time to do so. After meeting my recruiter, taking my ASVAB (which I scored incredibly well on) and excelling on all the physical requirements, it was time to go to MEPS. I couldn't have been more excited. I was going to get to go to MCRD San Diego way earlier than I thought. I was at an all time high. Fast forward to yesterday. I had a panic attack. Then another one, and then another one. I couldn't believe it. I had suffered from these in middle school, but haven't had them since. I had told my recruiter and he said it was so long ago it didn't matter and I was good to go. I called him and told him the news and he still wants me to go to MEPS. He told me not to mention it to MEPS and I'll be fine. He said I'll get over them and in bootcamp I won't even have time to worry. I know it's an automatic disqualifier to have anxiety. I have it very rarely. I just wish it wasn't a problem anymore. I am really down in the dumps right now. I don't know if I'll be able to handle the rigors of bootcamp and I don't want to put any Marines in danger if I make it to the fleet, so I decided to hold off. I owe it to all the Marines, and to myself to realize this is a problem. My recruiter is upset, but I don't think he could be more upset than me. I don't know what to do, I feel like my dreams have literally been crushed right in front of me. I cannot seem to shake this anxiety off my back even when I thought it was gone. I have been called a quitter, mommas boy, loser.... You name it. And I am starting to believe it. I am already regretting backing out of MEPS and I do not want to regret not joining the Marines and thinking "what if" my entire life. I'm so depressed right now honestly. I think I'm going to go see a professional over anxiety and try to end it, but then isn't seeing someone a disqualifier as well? And then it would be on my record. I really don't know what else to do. Can any of you Marines speak from experience, or do you have any advice for me? Realizing that I might not be able to serve in the Marine Corps is the hardest thing I have ever had to face.
I am at a pretty low point right now. All my life all I have ever wanted to do was serve in the Marine Corps. I graduated high school this year and decided it was time to do so. After meeting my recruiter, taking my ASVAB (which I scored incredibly well on) and excelling on all the physical requirements, it was time to go to MEPS. I couldn't have been more excited. I was going to get to go to MCRD San Diego way earlier than I thought. I was at an all time high. Fast forward to yesterday. I had a panic attack. Then another one, and then another one. I couldn't believe it. I had suffered from these in middle school, but haven't had them since. I had told my recruiter and he said it was so long ago it didn't matter and I was good to go. I called him and told him the news and he still wants me to go to MEPS. He told me not to mention it to MEPS and I'll be fine. He said I'll get over them and in bootcamp I won't even have time to worry. I know it's an automatic disqualifier to have anxiety. I have it very rarely. I just wish it wasn't a problem anymore. I am really down in the dumps right now. I don't know if I'll be able to handle the rigors of bootcamp and I don't want to put any Marines in danger if I make it to the fleet, so I decided to hold off. I owe it to all the Marines, and to myself to realize this is a problem. My recruiter is upset, but I don't think he could be more upset than me. I don't know what to do, I feel like my dreams have literally been crushed right in front of me. I cannot seem to shake this anxiety off my back even when I thought it was gone. I have been called a quitter, mommas boy, loser.... You name it. And I am starting to believe it. I am already regretting backing out of MEPS and I do not want to regret not joining the Marines and thinking "what if" my entire life. I'm so depressed right now honestly. I think I'm going to go see a professional over anxiety and try to end it, but then isn't seeing someone a disqualifier as well? And then it would be on my record. I really don't know what else to do. Can any of you Marines speak from experience, or do you have any advice for me? Realizing that I might not be able to serve in the Marine Corps is the hardest thing I have ever had to face.