firstsgtmike
01-05-04, 04:27 AM
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing."
Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his
house.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have
in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard some boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and
Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in
common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a
little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple
hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his
dick.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael
Jackson?
A. I believe you're in my son.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a
grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other
is used to carry groceries.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his
own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2
million a pop!
Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in
common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old
buns!
Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside,
and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt
doing coke.
Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and
Richard Pryor started?
A: The Ignited Negro College Fund!
Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.
Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in
Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman
in Europe.
Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa
Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black
guy!"
Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson
when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing --
no kids!"
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about
Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to
dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she
comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd
join in.
(The famous chimp was named Bubbles)
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to
Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to
Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A. Boys 'R Us.
Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.
A. From a catalogue.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing."
Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his
house.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have
in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard some boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and
Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in
common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a
little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple
hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his
dick.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael
Jackson?
A. I believe you're in my son.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a
grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other
is used to carry groceries.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his
own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2
million a pop!
Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in
common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old
buns!
Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside,
and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt
doing coke.
Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and
Richard Pryor started?
A: The Ignited Negro College Fund!
Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.
Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in
Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman
in Europe.
Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa
Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black
guy!"
Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson
when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing --
no kids!"
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about
Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to
dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she
comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd
join in.
(The famous chimp was named Bubbles)
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to
Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to
Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A. Boys 'R Us.
Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.