Phantom Blooper
12-25-03, 09:51 AM
Well, as you know, it's almost time for my birthday again. Last year,
they had a really big party for me and it seems like they will again
this year. After all they have been shopping and preparing for it for
months now, and there have been announcements and advertisements almost
every day about how soon it's coming! They really do go overboard about
it, but it's nice to know that at least one day of the year some people
are thinking about me a little. You know, it's been many years now since
they first started celebrating my birthday. Back then they seemed to
realize and appreciate how much fun it is for the little children. Just
the same, it seems that most folks are missing the point of it all. Like
last year, for example, when my birthday came around, they threw a big
party, but can you believe it? I wasn't even invited! Imagine! The guest
of honor, and they forgot all about me. They had begun preparing for the
festivities months in advance, but when the big day came, I was left out
in the cold! Well, it happened so many times in recent years, I wasn't
even surprised. Even though I wasn't invited, I thought I'd just quietly
slip in anyway. So I came in and stood off to the side. Everyone was
drinking, laughing, and having a great time when all of a sudden in came
this fat fellow in a bright red suit, wearing a phoney white beard
shouting, "Ho Ho Ho!". He looked like he had more than enough to drink.
When he collapsed into a big armchair, all of the children went running
over to him excitedly yelling, "Santa! Santa!" I mean, you'd have
thought he was the guest of honor and the whole holiday was just for
him. Then he began telling them the most ridiculous story you ever
heard! That he lives at the North pole with a crew of dwarfs and that
every year on my birthday he rides in his sleigh pulled by a bunch of
flying reindeer, delivering presents to children all over the world! I
mean there wasn't a word of truth in anything that he said. Imagine
telling such poor, little, impressionable kids such far fetched fables!
Finally I just had to leave. I walked out the door. It was no surprise
that no one even noticed that I had gone. As I walked down the street, I
felt about as lonely and forlorn as a stray dog. I could not remember
the last time I felt that low. Maybe you don't think I cry? The little
manger scene you put in the corner of your living room is really
touching! It's good that people commemorate my birthday like that. Did
you know that nowadays, in some countries, the authorities won't even
allow manger scenes placed in parks, streets, or public places anymore?
Not to mention their schools! I'm not talking about Communist countries!
I'm talking about the good, old USA. Imagine! What could be more
innocent than a manger scene to remind people of my birthday? Yet it's
banned! They've passed laws against it to make it illegal. What is this
world coming to? Another thing that amazes me is how, on my birthday,
instead of giving me presents, most people give gifts to each other! And
to top it off, it's usually the kind of stuff you don't even need! Let
me ask you, wouldn't you find it odd if when your birthday came along,
all your friends decided to celebrate by giving gifts to each other, and
not giving you a thing? Someone once told me, "Well, it's because you're
not around like most people are, so how can we give you a present?" You
know my answer to that one?: "Then give gifts of food and clothing to
the poor, give help to those who need it. Go visit the lonely! Any gift
you give a needy fellow man, I'll count it as if you gave it to me
personally." (And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say
unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my
brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40). Well, sad to say,
things are getting worse every year. You can just imagine my shock a few
years ago when I began seeing them taking the title out of my birthday
greeting and replacing it with an 'X'? What an insult! Think of it!
Xmas!... What if I wrote you a birthday card and said Happy Birthday X!
You'd probably never talk to me again! That is just about how I feel.
What more could they do to push me out of the picture on my own
birthday? It reminds me of what happened to a friend of mine recently, a
sweet, elderly fellow. He is from the poorer side of town, and he's been
trying unsuccessfully for years to join the church. It was a very
exclusive church for the proper kind of folks, and they just did not
think he was good enough to be a member. I found him one time sitting on
the church steps with his head in his hands . I asked him what was
wrong. He told me about it. I put my arm around his shoulder and told
him I knew just how he felt. I've been wanting to enter that same church
for 20 years and they've never let me in either. Well, there is an end
to even my patience. So I'm going to let you in on a secret. Now this is
something I have been planning on doing for quite sometime. I'll have my
own party! How about that? It's going to be the most fantastic feast you
could possibly imagine! It might not happen this year, but I'm sending
out the invitations now. I know you'll want to come. There is going to
be room for billions, for everyone who wants to come! Some really famous
old timers and celebrities are gonna be there and I'll reserve you a
seat of honor right with them. So hold on to your hat because when
everything is ready, I'm going to spring it as a big surprise! Many
people are going to be left out in the cold because they didn't answer
my invitation. Let me know right away if you'd like to come. I'll
reserve a place for you and write your name in Large Golden Letters in
my Great Big Guest Book!
All My Love, Your Friend
Jesus
they had a really big party for me and it seems like they will again
this year. After all they have been shopping and preparing for it for
months now, and there have been announcements and advertisements almost
every day about how soon it's coming! They really do go overboard about
it, but it's nice to know that at least one day of the year some people
are thinking about me a little. You know, it's been many years now since
they first started celebrating my birthday. Back then they seemed to
realize and appreciate how much fun it is for the little children. Just
the same, it seems that most folks are missing the point of it all. Like
last year, for example, when my birthday came around, they threw a big
party, but can you believe it? I wasn't even invited! Imagine! The guest
of honor, and they forgot all about me. They had begun preparing for the
festivities months in advance, but when the big day came, I was left out
in the cold! Well, it happened so many times in recent years, I wasn't
even surprised. Even though I wasn't invited, I thought I'd just quietly
slip in anyway. So I came in and stood off to the side. Everyone was
drinking, laughing, and having a great time when all of a sudden in came
this fat fellow in a bright red suit, wearing a phoney white beard
shouting, "Ho Ho Ho!". He looked like he had more than enough to drink.
When he collapsed into a big armchair, all of the children went running
over to him excitedly yelling, "Santa! Santa!" I mean, you'd have
thought he was the guest of honor and the whole holiday was just for
him. Then he began telling them the most ridiculous story you ever
heard! That he lives at the North pole with a crew of dwarfs and that
every year on my birthday he rides in his sleigh pulled by a bunch of
flying reindeer, delivering presents to children all over the world! I
mean there wasn't a word of truth in anything that he said. Imagine
telling such poor, little, impressionable kids such far fetched fables!
Finally I just had to leave. I walked out the door. It was no surprise
that no one even noticed that I had gone. As I walked down the street, I
felt about as lonely and forlorn as a stray dog. I could not remember
the last time I felt that low. Maybe you don't think I cry? The little
manger scene you put in the corner of your living room is really
touching! It's good that people commemorate my birthday like that. Did
you know that nowadays, in some countries, the authorities won't even
allow manger scenes placed in parks, streets, or public places anymore?
Not to mention their schools! I'm not talking about Communist countries!
I'm talking about the good, old USA. Imagine! What could be more
innocent than a manger scene to remind people of my birthday? Yet it's
banned! They've passed laws against it to make it illegal. What is this
world coming to? Another thing that amazes me is how, on my birthday,
instead of giving me presents, most people give gifts to each other! And
to top it off, it's usually the kind of stuff you don't even need! Let
me ask you, wouldn't you find it odd if when your birthday came along,
all your friends decided to celebrate by giving gifts to each other, and
not giving you a thing? Someone once told me, "Well, it's because you're
not around like most people are, so how can we give you a present?" You
know my answer to that one?: "Then give gifts of food and clothing to
the poor, give help to those who need it. Go visit the lonely! Any gift
you give a needy fellow man, I'll count it as if you gave it to me
personally." (And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say
unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my
brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40). Well, sad to say,
things are getting worse every year. You can just imagine my shock a few
years ago when I began seeing them taking the title out of my birthday
greeting and replacing it with an 'X'? What an insult! Think of it!
Xmas!... What if I wrote you a birthday card and said Happy Birthday X!
You'd probably never talk to me again! That is just about how I feel.
What more could they do to push me out of the picture on my own
birthday? It reminds me of what happened to a friend of mine recently, a
sweet, elderly fellow. He is from the poorer side of town, and he's been
trying unsuccessfully for years to join the church. It was a very
exclusive church for the proper kind of folks, and they just did not
think he was good enough to be a member. I found him one time sitting on
the church steps with his head in his hands . I asked him what was
wrong. He told me about it. I put my arm around his shoulder and told
him I knew just how he felt. I've been wanting to enter that same church
for 20 years and they've never let me in either. Well, there is an end
to even my patience. So I'm going to let you in on a secret. Now this is
something I have been planning on doing for quite sometime. I'll have my
own party! How about that? It's going to be the most fantastic feast you
could possibly imagine! It might not happen this year, but I'm sending
out the invitations now. I know you'll want to come. There is going to
be room for billions, for everyone who wants to come! Some really famous
old timers and celebrities are gonna be there and I'll reserve you a
seat of honor right with them. So hold on to your hat because when
everything is ready, I'm going to spring it as a big surprise! Many
people are going to be left out in the cold because they didn't answer
my invitation. Let me know right away if you'd like to come. I'll
reserve a place for you and write your name in Large Golden Letters in
my Great Big Guest Book!
All My Love, Your Friend
Jesus