ghost3000
08-27-13, 01:39 PM
On 3 July 2001, I arrived on the yellow footprints at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island.A troubled and misguided kid looking for a way out of Jacksonville, Florida. I was in search of a new beginning but little did I know what that new beginning actually entailed. I can honestly say that my upbringing did not prepare me one iota for the journey I was embarking on.
Take a look at that date again. The world was far the world as we know it today.I was the kid that for the last 19 years of his life lived in a bubble. All I knew was my neighborhood, my family, my friends....my world.
Physically Boot Camp wasn't a problem for me. The mental aspect was the hardest thing I had to endure. I will not go into some of the things that I endure during my growing up but they seemed to compound my issues mentally. Seeing no familiar faces I felt like the new kid at school again. Getting yelled at for what at the time seemed very trivial was getting to me. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to quit, but the one thing that carried me through thus far proved to still hold true. I couldn't allow myself to quit because everyone who said I would amount to anything would win.Everyone who said I would be dead or in jail would win. It's not like I couldn't quit. I can't quit. I have to do this. Through all the tears I did it. As Drill Instructor Staff Sergeant Taylor said to me as he handed me my first Eagle, Global and Anchor, "You finally made it huh Phillips?" Yes, I did sir. Yes, I did.
Little did I know my journey was just beginning. After 13 months of hanging out in 29 Palms at the Marine Corps Communications-Electronics School I became a Tactical Data Systems Repairman. I was then off to Marine Tactical Air Command Squadron 38 at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar. Five days later I was on a plane headed to Kuwait. This was truly the beginning of some trying times for me. Sitting in a tent in Kuwait once again no familiar faces. No friends. No family. The FNG. I was angry, depressed, lost, confused, lonely. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right. Lashing out, displaying my frustration as a tough guy when all I really wanted to do was cry. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to make friends and I did. Well, after 3 years, 3 deployments, 2 NJP's (Both were for disrespect towards a NCO) and being awarded rank 7 different occasions (PFC -> LCPL -> PFC -> LCPL -> PFC -> LCPL -> CPL) I decided enough was enough and left the ranks vowing to never look back. Through the up's and down's I loved the Marine Corps and everything it stood for. I let people ruin the Marine Corps for me.
After getting out in November 2006 I moved to Phoenix, Arizona with my wife. It was great. I have freedom. No one telling me what to do and how to do it. No belittling, no yelling. I got a good job in the IT department for FEDEX. I was living the life. But something was missing. I didn't feel like my life had any importance. I received a $20 gift card to Starbucks for my Christmas bonus and I hate coffee. I didn't make it. I lost it. I didn't realize what I had until it was gone.
In January 2008, I got called up for a IRR muster. I was required to go so I did. The plan was easy, go there, do what I have to do and then leave. Well, I didn't quite go as planned. If you ever loved the Marine Corps like I loved the Marine Corps then you couldn't just sit back, go through the motions and leave. There is something majestic if you will of the motivation a Sergeant Major of Marines. I felt it again. I felt the motivation. Well, I left that day alright. I went into the parking lot and called my wife and told her that I was going back in. She then replied, "I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to say that". Well, the next day at work I was discussing it with an older gentleman that I happened to work with and he was the deciding factor. He said, "The grass is always greener on the other side." He then added, "But, you will always be on the other side." I was sold. I called up the recruiter the next day and started the process.
After what seemed like an eternity and lots of frustation on March 20, 2008, I re-enlisted. Being that I was prior service my date of rank for Corporal reset to the day I re-enlisted. No big deal, I was just happy to be back. Aware of the service limits for Sergeants being 13 years I knew I had 7.5 years to pick up Staff Sergeant (I did a 5.5 year enlistment, contract was 5 years, extended 6 months to deploy again). I plan on doing 20+ years. I was going to retire a United States Marine. I could do it. I stayed out of trouble. I did boot loads of MCI's, volunteered with the Big Brother program, started taking college courses, Sergeants Course, Expert on rifle range, 1st class PFT, MCMAP. You name it I was doing it. I had motivation. Well, little did I know how all of those things were going to be for nil.
In March 2011, I was eligible for re-enlistment. No rush I tell the Career Planner. Let's wait to see if theres a bonus, I could use the money. Well, the bonuses come out and I was excited $33,500 but I had to wait until October 2011 to re-enlist. No biggy, I'm still not in a rush to re-enlist. September 2011 if I remember correct is when the service limit change occurred. I was screwed. I went from have 7.5 years to pick up Staff Sergeant to 4.5 years to pick up Staff Sergeant. Even though I picked up Sergeant as soon as I was eligible I still was about 2 years from the below zone for my MOS. I was forced to walk away. I was hurt. I worked hard to repair my reputation as a trouble maker and become a model Marine. It took me a while to get over it. I believe that I would have gotten over it quicker if I was passed over and they said I wasn't good enough. It hurts because I never got the chance to find out.
I'm doing well though. Great job working in the Technology Department at the Phoenix airport. I make a pretty good living doing it but money can't replace holding what I deem to be the highest honor any the world...Being a United States Marine.
Take a look at that date again. The world was far the world as we know it today.I was the kid that for the last 19 years of his life lived in a bubble. All I knew was my neighborhood, my family, my friends....my world.
Physically Boot Camp wasn't a problem for me. The mental aspect was the hardest thing I had to endure. I will not go into some of the things that I endure during my growing up but they seemed to compound my issues mentally. Seeing no familiar faces I felt like the new kid at school again. Getting yelled at for what at the time seemed very trivial was getting to me. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to quit, but the one thing that carried me through thus far proved to still hold true. I couldn't allow myself to quit because everyone who said I would amount to anything would win.Everyone who said I would be dead or in jail would win. It's not like I couldn't quit. I can't quit. I have to do this. Through all the tears I did it. As Drill Instructor Staff Sergeant Taylor said to me as he handed me my first Eagle, Global and Anchor, "You finally made it huh Phillips?" Yes, I did sir. Yes, I did.
Little did I know my journey was just beginning. After 13 months of hanging out in 29 Palms at the Marine Corps Communications-Electronics School I became a Tactical Data Systems Repairman. I was then off to Marine Tactical Air Command Squadron 38 at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar. Five days later I was on a plane headed to Kuwait. This was truly the beginning of some trying times for me. Sitting in a tent in Kuwait once again no familiar faces. No friends. No family. The FNG. I was angry, depressed, lost, confused, lonely. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right. Lashing out, displaying my frustration as a tough guy when all I really wanted to do was cry. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to make friends and I did. Well, after 3 years, 3 deployments, 2 NJP's (Both were for disrespect towards a NCO) and being awarded rank 7 different occasions (PFC -> LCPL -> PFC -> LCPL -> PFC -> LCPL -> CPL) I decided enough was enough and left the ranks vowing to never look back. Through the up's and down's I loved the Marine Corps and everything it stood for. I let people ruin the Marine Corps for me.
After getting out in November 2006 I moved to Phoenix, Arizona with my wife. It was great. I have freedom. No one telling me what to do and how to do it. No belittling, no yelling. I got a good job in the IT department for FEDEX. I was living the life. But something was missing. I didn't feel like my life had any importance. I received a $20 gift card to Starbucks for my Christmas bonus and I hate coffee. I didn't make it. I lost it. I didn't realize what I had until it was gone.
In January 2008, I got called up for a IRR muster. I was required to go so I did. The plan was easy, go there, do what I have to do and then leave. Well, I didn't quite go as planned. If you ever loved the Marine Corps like I loved the Marine Corps then you couldn't just sit back, go through the motions and leave. There is something majestic if you will of the motivation a Sergeant Major of Marines. I felt it again. I felt the motivation. Well, I left that day alright. I went into the parking lot and called my wife and told her that I was going back in. She then replied, "I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to say that". Well, the next day at work I was discussing it with an older gentleman that I happened to work with and he was the deciding factor. He said, "The grass is always greener on the other side." He then added, "But, you will always be on the other side." I was sold. I called up the recruiter the next day and started the process.
After what seemed like an eternity and lots of frustation on March 20, 2008, I re-enlisted. Being that I was prior service my date of rank for Corporal reset to the day I re-enlisted. No big deal, I was just happy to be back. Aware of the service limits for Sergeants being 13 years I knew I had 7.5 years to pick up Staff Sergeant (I did a 5.5 year enlistment, contract was 5 years, extended 6 months to deploy again). I plan on doing 20+ years. I was going to retire a United States Marine. I could do it. I stayed out of trouble. I did boot loads of MCI's, volunteered with the Big Brother program, started taking college courses, Sergeants Course, Expert on rifle range, 1st class PFT, MCMAP. You name it I was doing it. I had motivation. Well, little did I know how all of those things were going to be for nil.
In March 2011, I was eligible for re-enlistment. No rush I tell the Career Planner. Let's wait to see if theres a bonus, I could use the money. Well, the bonuses come out and I was excited $33,500 but I had to wait until October 2011 to re-enlist. No biggy, I'm still not in a rush to re-enlist. September 2011 if I remember correct is when the service limit change occurred. I was screwed. I went from have 7.5 years to pick up Staff Sergeant to 4.5 years to pick up Staff Sergeant. Even though I picked up Sergeant as soon as I was eligible I still was about 2 years from the below zone for my MOS. I was forced to walk away. I was hurt. I worked hard to repair my reputation as a trouble maker and become a model Marine. It took me a while to get over it. I believe that I would have gotten over it quicker if I was passed over and they said I wasn't good enough. It hurts because I never got the chance to find out.
I'm doing well though. Great job working in the Technology Department at the Phoenix airport. I make a pretty good living doing it but money can't replace holding what I deem to be the highest honor any the world...Being a United States Marine.