Marry?

[tommym1a1pro]

I am currently a PFC about to graduate MOS school and get orders to my first duty station. If I got married on leave, what are the chances that my wife would be able to move to my permanent duty station with me?

Thanks for any advice or assistance Brothers, ( and Sisters ).

PFC Chase

[Tennessee Top]

As far as I know (I retired in 95), since you are not overseas, you can get married whenever you want. Your marriage certificate is the legal document stipulating your wife is your legal dependent. What I recommend is you go to the nearest military installation to your hometown (base, reserve center, etc.); doesn't matter what service. After your honeymoon, take your wife (they will take a photo of her), your military ID card, marriage certificate, her birth certificate, get her a dependent ID card and enrolled in the DEERS system (she cannot get healthcare or insurance benefits till she is enrolled in DEERS). You want her covered immediately so that if anything happens between the time you get married and you report to your permanent duty station she will have benefits. You may want to call before going just to make sure you're going to the right place and you take all the documents you need with you.

Your orders out of MOS school will have appropriation data that covers travel expenses (you will see it at the bottom of your orders and it's just a bunch of numbers). Since you're not married yet, it will not include data for your spouse. Normally, when a married Marine transfers to a new duty station, the goverment pays for the dependent's travel too (as well as shipping their household goods). Your wife can move with you to your first duty station but I'm not sure how you can get the government to pay for it since she is not included in your orders out of school. When you check in to your new unit, make a visit to the travel section to see about having your travel orders modified to include your spouse. Also, advise the admin section so they can run the appropriate entries in the pay system and get your housing/food allowances started (they will need copies of your marriage certificate so have extra copies with you).

During your check-in process, visit the base housing office. They will give you guidance about renting off-base (there are landlords who like to rip off military families and need to be avoided). They will also put you on the waiting list for base housing. When I was married, we waited 13 months for a housing unit to open up aboard Camp Pendleton (rented an apartment in San Clemente in the meantime). A year after moving on base, my unaccompanied orders for Okinawa showed up.

One word of advice. Wait as long as you can before having a child. Due to the high cost of living on the east/west coast, it is not unheard of for junior enlisted Marines with families to be on foodstamps.

Good luck.

[Gemoore2]

Best advice I can give any Marine. I know absolutely nothing about your personal life, however I would highly advise on holding out on marriage until you have been in the Corps for a while. You are still in MOS school and know completely nothing about the Marine Corps fleet life, and neither does your fiancée. If it comes down to the fact that it is a life style she does not want to live, divorce in the military comes with a heavy price tag. You are still a young Marine trying to set yourself up for success. If you both really love each other enough to play the marriage card then there is no reason why you both cannot hold out for a while and test the waters in the Marine Corps Fleet first.

[Tennessee Top]

Best advice I can give any Marine. I know absolutely nothing about your personal life, however I would highly advise on holding out on marriage until you have been in the Corps for a while. You are still in MOS school and know completely nothing about the Marine Corps fleet life, and neither does your fiancée. If it comes down to the fact that it is a life style she does not want to live, divorce in the military comes with a heavy price tag. You are still a young Marine trying to set yourself up for success. If you both really love each other enough to play the marriage card then there is no reason why you both cannot hold out for a while and test the waters in the Marine Corps Fleet first.

I agree with that advice totally. In fact, my own marriage did not survive that 12 month unaccompanied assignment to OKI (thanks to Jody). However, it's my experience that once a Marine decides he has found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, there is no changing his mind. You can counsel them all you want to about the hardships of separations, low pay, high cost of living, etc. but they will not listen to you. In my own case, I got the same counselling, decided to get married anyway because "I was in love", and my marriage lasted four years - I became a statistic along with many of my friends. Divorce happened to the other Marines...my wife loved me so it would never happen to me...WRONG! With that personal experience (never got married again), and as a Staff NCO, I counselled many young enlisted Marines about the hardships of marriage in the Corps. But, like I said, once they've made their mind up, you are NOT going to change it. And, I'm not certain about telling them to wait either. Divorce impacts all ranks from junior enlisted all the way up to officers - it's an occupational hazard in the military (and the sea services in particular). Half the marriages in this nation fail - that percentage is even higher in the military for a variety of obvious reasons like low pay and separations. A young Marine "in love" can conquer all those obstacles however...just ask them.

[Gemoore2]

Couldn't say it any better myself!

Marines and 'love' oh boy..
haha

[SGT7477]

Get some rank at least Cpl, seen a lot of failed marriages in my short time, damn Jody is bad news, Good Luck, Semper Fidelis.