missing my son

[dadamark]

my boy left on sunday for parris island . im missing him as much allready . as i ever have im hopping he is doing well but there is allways that need to keep him safe even if he is a young adult now and is very mature and responsable it will be good to get some other views from peaple proud to be the dad of a marine recrute.

[irpat54]

even tho i am a former Marine, when my Daughter joined i to missed her a lot and was concerned when we did not hear from her and when she went to MCT and we did not hear at all from her for a while i still got protective and worried, so i can understand what you are going through, no mater how old and even tho they earn the title of Marine we are still dads,,

[Lisa 23]

Thread closed until you have a complete profile besides a first and last name.....site rules, which can be found in the poolee and Ask A Marine forums. When profile is complete, PM any Squad Leader from the Squad Leaders sticky in the Ask A Marine forum and thread will be re-opened.

[Lisa 23]

Profile complete......thread re-opened.

[robengineer]

Please get yourself prepared for the first letter or two home. We were not prepared. Our son's demeanor was terrible. He was homesick and his emotion poured out through his writing. The first week is a mental assault that is something he likely has never experienced. It really broke my son down. However, by the third letter he started to sound much better. He graduated last week and is so proud of his accomplishment. He is walking around the house singing his marching ditties and can't wait to get to the infantry training battalion next week. My advice is to send him a letter each day once you get his address. Make pre-printed labels to make it easier. You can give pre-printed labels to friends and family. Also, go to the Parris Island base and hang out by the parade deck on the wednesday before graduation. They will be practicing and with some luck you will get to see your son.

[m14ed]

Please get yourself prepared for the first letter or two home.

We were not prepared. ,
Our son's demeanor was terrible. ,
He was homesick and his emotion ,
poured out through his writing.

The first week is a mental assault that is something ,
he likely has never experienced. ,
It really broke my son down.
BOY, you better believe that .
We Marines can all tell stories of that first day, and the first week.

However, by the third letter he started to sound much better. ,
He graduated last week and is so proud of his accomplishment. ,
He is walking around the house singing his marching ditties ,
and can't wait to get to the infantry training battalion next week.

My advice is to send him a letter each day once you get his address.

Make pre-printed labels to make it easier. ,
You can give pre-printed labels to friends and family.

Also, go to the Parris Island base and hang out by the parade deck on the wednesday before graduation. They will be practicing and with some luck you will get to see your son.



Good luck to you and your son

[travis mcgee]

Robengineer has given some good advice. When my son was at MCRDSD we wrote him all the time, in fact he stated that outside information was used to barter with other recruits. So I always sent him football scores and standings as well as NASCAR updates. Always write positive letters, clippings of funny stories from your local newspaper, or funny cartoons. My son said that he didn't receive his letters on a regular basis (DI would use this as motivation or punishment) but he did eventually get them all. You will most likely send more mail than you receive, this is normal. But your son will greatly appreciate every letter he gets.

My only real advice is this; as much as you may want to send him a "care" package" do not give in to this temptation it will backfire and cause your son more headaches. Good luck to you and your son.

Cheers,

pete

[DrZ]

my boy left on sunday for parris island . im missing him as much allready . as i ever have im hopping he is doing well but there is allways that need to keep him safe even if he is a young adult now and is very mature and responsable it will be good to get some other views from peaple proud to be the dad of a marine recrute.

You sent off a boy and you will receive not only a man but a Marine. All of us who went through it can tell you that we are glad not to be able to send letters or anything home in the early stages of boot camp...or our Moms and Dads would be on the road attempting to pick us back up and take us home.

When you write him.... keep everything up. Fill him in on what is happening with the family...in town...with people you both know. Talk to some of his friends...get and add information in your letters. Pass around his address to his friends. Mail is one of the few things that kept us steadfast in our desire to complete boot.

Don't send goodies...don't you or Mom put anything cutesy on the envelopes...and tell his friends...male and female...don't do it or your recruit will pay for it.

Don't worry Dad.... you will live through your son's boot camp experience.

[Pinstriper]

As the Dad of an 0311 Marine that went through what your Son will be, I can only reiterate what has been said. Your Son will do fine, make sure you take the time to write him, and keep everything upbeat. You ARE his support through the next 13 weeks. As DrZ stated, make sure you tell his Gal to NOT send anything scented, kissed or anything of the like.

[McT ontheRock71]

Robengineer has given some good advice. When my son was at MCRDSD we wrote him all the time, in fact he stated that outside information was used to barter with other recruits. So I always sent him football scores and standings as well as NASCAR updates. Always write positive letters, clippings of funny stories from your local newspaper, or funny cartoons. My son said that he didn't receive his letters on a regular basis (DI would use this as motivation or punishment) but he did eventually get them all. You will most likely send more mail than you receive, this is normal. But your son will greatly appreciate every letter he gets.

My only real advice is this; as much as you may want to send him a "care" package" do not give in to this temptation it will backfire and cause your son more headaches. Good luck to you and your son.

Cheers,

pete

While in Boot Camp, one of my "friends" sent me a fruit cake as a joke for my birthday. Fortunately I graduated before it reached me. Unfortunately it was forwarded and it showed up at mail call while I was in ITR. I was made to open the package and eat the entire thing. I asked if I could share it with the rest of my barracks but was told that it was sent to me and not the barracks. I still can't look at fruitcake to this day.

[travis mcgee]

Fruit cake that is cruel. By the way dadamark how is your son doing?

[Marinemom32]

All good advcise. I sent letters daily, news clippings, jokes. And defnitely be positive.. My son actaully told me to stop writing so much as he didn't have time to read the letters. Some things my son did ask me to send once I guess the DI's told them they were allowed to recived packages, was Power bars, cliff bars that sort of thing,but you have to send enough for the whole platoon. He also wanted Emercey cus the whole platoon was getting sick, and Rohto which is eye drops...he said that was a god send. But again I sent enough for everyone. Good luck to your son, and you....that was the longest 3 months of my life. He will come home a changed man...

[Rocky C]

Mark, How are you hanging in there my friend ?
How is your Son doing ?
Can we get an update please ?

Thank you.

[MOS4429]

I am going to take a different approach on this thread, and I suppose some won’t like it, but that’s the way the ball bounces. We live in a day and age where due to the information available at our fingertips parents more and more hover over every aspect of their child's life - even once they become adults. With few exceptions, when a young man/woman goes to boot camp, they are 18 or older.

There was a time when young men – or in many cases boys – went off to boot camp, and parents would give them a sendoff at the bus stop, wait for that first letter, and that was it. Letters written back and forth, no training matrix, no myriads of parental support-group websites, no day-by-day, hour-by-hour shadowing, and what they got back was a disciplined man.

Personally, I believe it is a mistake for parents to shadow in this manner. There comes a time that we must let our children go, and we step back into the support role. Recently there was a new term added to the Webster’s Dictionary called “Helicopter Parent.” It is as it sounds, a parent that hovers over their child, must know everything they do.

In college, this type of parent will text constantly and incessantly, go onto their child’s Facebook, take care of every aspect of college life and fail to allow their child to become an adult.

I have seen that pattern by parents whose children enlist in the Marine Corps and go to boot camp. Letter writing is crucial. It is one of the highlights of a recruit’s day, and certainly to the parent as well. If you as a parent parented well and prepared your child for adulthood, then there should be no concern about adjustments to this “new way of life.” However, if the practice was to hover from birth over the child and that practice continues on when a child goes to boot camp, recent evidence is showing the child will have increased anxiety over failing. Failing, by the way, is okay. When they fail, they learn. If they are not allowed to fail, they will not be able to handle it later on when they are on their own.

Monitoring every facet of training, being involved in their lives post-boot camp by reminding them of their deadlines, responsibilities, constantly checking up on them, being available and reacable 24/7 prevents them from being responsible, from learning to be self-sufficient, from being independent, from thinking on their own, demonstrating initiative, and making their own choices.

The funny thing is…when we were their age, somehow we made it without constant parental intervention, hovering, what have you.

[Rocky C]

I know what you are saying MOS but everyone is differant.

It's just one Dad missing his Son, reaching out to other Parents.
Perhaps this is his copeing by being here.

No matter how old they get, we still want to protect them and guide them.

I know his Son is going to be a Marine and he has to let him be a Marine.
Doesn't change the feeling or bond they have.

My Son Christopher died 1 year and 3 weeks ago. He was only 30 years old.

I live now with the nightmare that I wish I could have protected my Son more.

My heart goes out to this Dad Mark...

Anyone can be a Father but it takes a Special kind of Man to be a Dad....

[fl1946]

Rocky, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine the pain suffered from losing a child. Your comment is a stark reminder that we without any condition, should hug our offspring often. I'm an old dog now but can still wag my "tail" wildly when my children call me "Dad."

Semper fi,

[travis mcgee]

Rocky, since joining the Leatherneck family you have shown me nothing but respect, kindness, and guidance. I am truly grateful and want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't mean to hijack this thread but this was the first I heard of the loss of your son.

Pete

[Rocky C]

Thank you Brothers and Thank you Pete for your kind words.

This was the 2nd Child I have lost and I am only 53. I lost My first Daughter when I was 19 and in the Marine Corps.

I only have My Daughter Katie left, she will be 28 in January.

I know how todays Parents feel, hence the Post in this Thread.

God Bless and Protect the Children no matter how old they are....

[doc h fmf]

ROCKY YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS EVERYDAY BROTHER. LOVE you and take care my brother.

Semper FI and Godbless



Stephen Doc Hansen HM3 FMF

[Rocky C]

Thank you Doc and God Bless Brother.