Let the Old Pharts Fight

[kentmitchell]

Passed on to Jim Freas and to me from a really patriotic Senior Citizen......

I've said that if I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D.C. But, I'm over 60 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorist. You can't be older than 35 to join the Army. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters:
- Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
- Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
- Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
- An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early just to show we can (and to steal the neighbor's newspaper and pee).
- If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
- Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
The army could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been to the desert and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."
- And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.
He's still learning to shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.
All great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11.
The last thing they'd want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

[richgitz]

You can count this "OLD FART" in.

[thedrifter]

Well I might need a little help..LOL...but I'm game........

SF

Roger
:marine:

[Osotogary]

Thanks for the laugh. I'd be honored to sign up and do what I can. Besides, I need to get out of the house. LOL

[rsta]

That was funny, a good article. Which way to the front?

Bob

[jfreas]

Get the geritol out we're on the way. They just can't keep old Marines down.

[Art Petersn]

jfreas

At our age I don't think even geritol would work.

[firstsgtmike]

Last year I posted this, and this seems to be a more fitting place for it. I shortened the original and added input from other posters.

The Over the Hill Gang, was a comedy about several long-retired marshalls, sheriffs, and cowboy heroes who came out of retirement for one last ride into the sunset. The actors were relics remaining from a long list of former cowboy sidekicks and character actors we easily recognized from long forgotten western scenes we grew up with.

Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when out of the west came the echoes of "Hi Yo Sadaam, Awaaaaaaaaaay!

Instead of a calvery bugler trilling to the beat of The William Tell Overture as a lead-in, we have the sound of chopper blades wump wumping the beat of Proud Mary.

I don't have much of a storyline put together yet, just bits and pieces of scenes to be developed.

A standing vet, tossing a hand granade. He joints lock up and he is frozen like a statue until two buddies can get to him and tip him over.

Every squad has one man tasked with carrying the squad's daily medication requirements, and is responsible for their timely ingestion. He wakes them up, if it's sleeping pill time.

Attached to each platoon is a corpman, two physical therapists and a shrink. Also a dietician responsible for the daily preparation of the individual food packages for those on restricted diets.

A scene where two men are carrying a buddy, while two others are trying to get his all-terrain mechanized wheel chair out of a ditch.

The CO back at HQ is in an iron lung, while two of his staff are attached to portable respirators.

A scene where the med-evac chopper pilot, wearing dark sunglasses, is walking out to his aircraft tapping a white cane.

A scene where the explanation for disregarding a radio msg is that the battery went out on the operator's hearing aid.

A rapelling insertion from a hovering helo, and some practical joker substituted a bungee cord.

The morale officer was a Korean War vet, and the USO show he booked for the troops had the survivors from the original cast of a show he saw in Inchon.

I can see a machine gunner or a helo mech with palsey, and a character with alzheimer's.

Arm them all with M-14’s Thompson’s & M1911’s, don’t forget the aluminum Canteens and throw in a couple of Kids and a VA Rep to carry the Beer & extra ammo.

Your best map-reader carries a shotgun because his coke bottle lenses wont allow him to see very well much beyond his fingertips.

Your Point man uses a metal detector to look for trip wires and your M-60 team consists of 5 crewman, (1) Gunner, (1) A gunner (1) ammo man and (2) others who take turns helping the Gunner carry the Gun. Your 3.5 team consists of 7 crewman (1) Gunner, (1) A gunner and (5) ammo carriers (1) round each.

The CO rides in a bulletproof 1980 Mercedes towing a reinforced 1969 Airstream trailer. The Company driver has the best driving record with only (6) Speeding ticks & (2) DUI’s in the past 10 years.
=============
One of the advantages of me joining up is that I live on the other side of the world. My bio-clock is 12 hours off from yours. Therefore, I can take over the night-watch because bio-time, it's my daytime. (Except that my night vision ain't what it yust to be.)

But the Semper in Semper Fi means ALWAYS!

[Doc Crow]

:banana: :yes: :yes: I like this idea. I have actually been thinking about trying to go back to Active Duty after being retired for 7 years. Just have to figure out a way to do it

[Arty101]

What's not apparent to some who are in a position to do something, is that there are many vets that are still capable, ready willing and able. They have been in various professions and fields, aquired vasts amounts of knowledge, experince and skill, and would be willing to enter the breach, most likely with a lower training footprint, and higher goal achievement than current operating units. Oooops. That's common sense oozing in. That doesn't apply here.

[TracGunny]

Ya really wanna strap the boots back up?

From “Semper Fidelis: Memorandum for Retired Marines” Volume 47 No.1 January-March 2003

RECALLING RETIRED MARINES: Execution of Our Total Force Concept

As Operation Enduring Freedom and the war on terrorism continues to unfold, a need for certain qualified Marines, with specific specialties and skill sets, to fill critical billet assignments, has arisen. The primary reason for these manpower shortfalls stem from our active-duty and reserve forces doing what Marines do… “deploying in harm’s way.” These deployments have created billet gaps at both the non-deploying bases and stations worldwide and, to a lesser degree, some unique Operating Forces assignments. As a first step to help remedy this manpower deficiency, Headquarters U.S. Marine Corps (HQMC) has instituted a period of “stop loss” which will limit the number of Marines separating and retiring from the Corps. Still, there are vacancies unfilled.

It is amply understood that a great resource of experience and knowledge rests within the ranks of our retired Marine community. With that in mind, HQMC is currently screening a multitude of interested retired Marines that have expressed a desire to return to active duty to assist in whatever capacity is needed. Subsequent to September 11, 2001, the HQMC web site has experienced a flood of these volunteers. With the deployments mentioned above either underway or in the planning stages, HQMC has been screening volunteers, using specific criteria for placement in active-duty billets. The planned initial period of service for these recalled Marines will not exceed six months.

Interested retired Marines are encouraged to explore this opportunity, especially those with “operational” experience and skills. Marines who have retired within the past five years are particularly encouraged to apply. Open billets exist Marine Corps wide, both within the continental United States and outside of the country, as well as a limited number with deploying Marines.

Initially to qualify for recall to active duty, a candidate should meet the following criteria:
• Must have a retirement or transfer to the Fleet Marine Corps Reserve date not more than five years old (some waivers granted for special skills),
• Must be under 60,
• Must be in a reasonable state of physical condition,
• Must have serviceable uniforms to include at least camouflage utilities and
• Must be willing to temporarily suspend all VA benefits if assigned an active-duty billet.

This is the normal procedure for recalling retired Marines. Requests for recall are submitted to HQMC (MMSR-7), 3280 Russell Rd., Quantico, Va. 22134-5103. After the initial screening process, a qualified candidate’s information is verified and forwarded to a placement officer in Manpower Plans for additional filtering. That placement officer will attempt to match military experience with an open billet. If successful, the retired Marine will be contacted and offered the assignment. The candidate however, can decline the assignment.

Note: Civilian employment is protected by law when interrupted by military service. If a retired Marine chooses to return to active duty, he or she can do so without jeopardizing loss of employment.

Retired Marines who meet the specific criteria and are interested in volunteering, may write MMSR-7 to the above address or call Capt A.M. Ingram (for officer recall) at (703) 432-9097 or MSgt V.P. Tate (for enlisted recall) at (703) 432-9099