Being a Marine and Having a family

[5e2394b16bcf57b]

My younger brother is LCpl and plans on re-enlisting after his 4 years are up and possibly making the Marine Corps. a career. I signed my flight contract to become an officer in the Marines, that's essentially a 10 year commitment if I get selected and make it through OCS (which I believe I will). Obviously upon making the decision to join the Marines, everyone around you tells you what they think is great about the decision and what is not. I prefer when possible to handle all objections by neutralizing them. One common objection to the decision to join the Marines is that you will have a very difficult time starting and maintaining a happy family because you will be gone all the time. This may differ greatly depending on whether you are reserve, active, first term enlistment, greater than first term enlistment, or officer but I think it is an objection worthy of being addressed as doing so will bolster the confidence in the decision making process and thus reduce drop out rates.

[USNAviator]

My younger brother is LCpl and plans on re-enlisting after his 4 years are up and possibly making the Marine Corps. a career. I signed my flight contract to become an officer in the Marines, that's essentially a 10 year commitment if I get selected and make it through OCS (which I believe I will). Obviously upon making the decision to join the Marines, everyone around you tells you what they think is great about the decision and what is not. I prefer when possible to handle all objections by neutralizing them. One common objection to the decision to join the Marines is that you will have a very difficult time starting and maintaining a happy family because you will be gone all the time. This may differ greatly depending on whether you are reserve, active, first term enlistment, greater than first term enlistment, or officer but I think it is an objection worthy of being addressed as doing so will bolster the confidence in the decision making process and thus reduce drop out rates.


Sorry perhaps I over looked a question in your soliloquy. This is Ask a Marine forum. Care to restate your concerns in the form of a question? BTW congrats on snagging an aviation contract, I hear tell they are hard to get

[5e2394b16bcf57b]

Sorry perhaps I over looked a question in your soliloquy. This is Ask a Marine forum. Care to restate your concerns in the form of a question? BTW congrats on snagging an aviation contract, I hear tell they are hard to get

haha! what I was saying restated more simply and as a question is, is it true that it is difficult to have a healthy family life as a Marine? and thank you for the congrats, I know it has certainly been a lengthy process

[USNAviator]

haha! what I was saying restated more simply and as a question is, is it true that it is difficult to have a healthy family life as a Marine? and thank you for the congrats, I know it has certainly been a lengthy process


LOL I thought you sounded familiar, went back and read your other post.

Listen I flew for 20 years , according to my wife I was gone for nearly 4 years in that time frame. A military spouse is someone very different than a civilian spouse. As the knight in Indy 3 said "choose wisely." But to be honest, the biggest challenge any young couple deals with is money. As an officer you'll be in a much better position to deal with those problems

Also, as I said above choose wisely because divorce is looked upon as a negative factor within the officer corps. But especially within a squadron. While a rogue male might seem as charming at first, once the CO and the XO's wives get involved a single/divorced male is looked upon as a loser. And it will hinder your career. So plan on finding your wife if you value your career

[5e2394b16bcf57b]

LOL I thought you sounded familiar, went back and read your other post.

Listen I flew for 20 years , according to my wife I was gone for nearly 4 years in that time frame. A military spouse is someone very different than a civilian spouse. As the knight in Indy 3 said "choose wisely." But to be honest, the biggest challenge any young couple deals with is money. As an officer you'll be in a much better position to deal with those problems

Also, as I said above choose wisely because divorce is looked upon as a negative factor within the officer corps. But especially within a squadron. While a rogue male might seem as charming at first, once the CO and the XO's wives get involved a single/divorced male is looked upon as a loser. And it will hinder your career. So plan on finding your wife if you value your career

Wow, I appreciate your candor. Well, I certainly value my career, I'm not really sure what a military wife looks like I can tell you that most women I have met as a civilian are relatively immature and so that certainly played a large role in me feeling good about focusing on my career.

[USNAviator]

Wow, I appreciate your candor. Well, I certainly value my career, I'm not really sure what a military wife looks like I can tell you that most women I have met as a civilian are relatively immature and so that certainly played a large role in me feeling good about focusing on my career.

You're welcome but immaturity is not a positive when it comes to marriage in any profession. Spouses of any one who is going to make a career out of the service is an integral part of that career, whether enlisted or officer.

In something as tight knit as a squadron there is much interaction as a couple rather than as an individual especially as you move up the food chain.You'll find that you hang out mostly with your fellow aviators and their spouses.. Your wife will become more and more involved with that group as you gain rank. It's like a pecking order, the older spouses tend to watch out for the younger ones.. When it works it's great but when it doesn't there is hell to pay.

Don't be in a hurry to get married. As an O-1 or 2 you'll be expected to just learn the ropes of the group dynamics but as you move up not being married can be a problem.

We had a guy in our squadron, came from money, Ivy league education, good looking guy. At every function or party he's show up with a different beautiful woman. This went on for months until someone started to ask whatever happened to Jane "she dumped me" or to Susan "oh she dumped me" this went on for some time until it came time for our deployment. During one our meetings nuggets get their call sign. It's usually something connected with their name or personality. When it came time for this guy to get his call sign a few were proposed but then the CO spoke up and said since you've been dumped so many times by so many beautiful woman you're call sign is "Land Fill".

[devilbones2]

When I was in I got married at 19 and so did all the guys around me. Its been 13 years and I am the only one still married. After the first five years of marriage we probably lived together for about only 2 years. Since then I travel about 50% of the time and do deployments up to six months. During these times you will be missing birthdays, anniversaries and holidays so if you think you find the woman thats up to it good luck. I found one and I can tell you there are not many out there that will put up with it.

[MarinesFTW]

Almost every single pilot and wizzo in my squadron is married, and when every I see there familys there always close together, it seems like everyone knows each other. Its almost the same thing in the enlisted side, everyone who is married in my shop, all there wives know each other and do things together, it actually seems to keep the marriages more healthy. The ones that stick to themselves have seem to fallen apart because there wives dont really have anyone to relate to. Ive only been in the fleet for 4 months, but I hear multiple stories and see it almost every day. But as the Cmdr said, it seems like being married as an officer is a must, theres only a few single pilots and with all due respect, they are the odd balls when it comes to everything.

[USNAviator]

Almost every single pilot and wizzo in my squadron is married, and when every I see there familys there always close together, it seems like everyone knows each other. Its almost the same thing in the enlisted side, everyone who is married in my shop, all there wives know each other and do things together, it actually seems to keep the marriages more healthy. The ones that stick to themselves have seem to fallen apart because there wives dont really have anyone to relate to. Ive only been in the fleet for 4 months, but I hear multiple stories and see it almost every day. But as the Cmdr said, it seems like being married as an officer is a must, theres only a few single pilots and with all due respect, they are the odd balls when it comes to everything.


Daniel thank you very much for adding to my observations. I got out in '98 so I'm bit behind the curve but figured most things had not changed

Yes we always did things together, whole families etc. It was just the dynamic of the situation. You flew together, you partied together, your wives socialized together, your children went to the same schools. Very rarely was an outsider allowed into to group. I guess civilians would say it was a clique and damn straight it was.