Question About Family Restrictions when Enlisting??

[TurnNBurn2011]

My boyfriend has wanted to enlist in the Marine Corps for as long as I have known him. The last time that he went to a recruiter to ask some questions, he was supposedly told that if he has 2+ kids, he can't be active duty. Everyone that i have asked about this has said that they have never heard of that, and that that sounds kind of ridiculous, which it does. Can anyone shed any light on that? whether or not it is true and/or if he could have possibly misunderstood the recruiter?

Thanks!

[USNAviator]

The military has regulations that actually *REQUIRE* you to provide adequate financial support for your dependents. Because of this, the military limits the number of dependents an applicant can have. Those who exceed the stated number of dependents require a waiver. Before a dependency waiver is granted for any of the services, the recruiting service will conduct a financial eligibility determination (i.e., they will look closely at your household bills and the income of your spouse).

Marine Corps: In the Marine Corps, a waiver is required if an applicant has any dependent under the age of 18.

I can't comment on what a recruiter has told your boy friend. But think in terms of fiscal responsibility. If he goes active, he's not going to be making a lot of money and you state 2+ kids. Will he have 3 children to be responsible for?

He needs to go and talk with another recruiter because he WILL need a waiver and they are not easy to come by today

Good luck to him

[dizark]

When I enlisted back in 2008, I had one child. Had to fill out a bunch of financial documents, get written statements from my wife and others saying they would help if needed, etc. I remember hearing something about if I had 2 kids it would have been harder to enlist or maybe I couldnt go active duty either. I now have 2 kids but thats after I was already a Marine.

[TurnNBurn2011]

We have 2 children, with no plans for any more at this time. I was not working at the time that he spoke to the recruiter, but am now. I dont know if that would make a difference?
Also, how does the military view me, as we are not married? currently, I am covered under his insurance, etc., would that stay the same?

[USNAviator]

We have 2 children, with no plans for any more at this time. I was not working at the time that he spoke to the recruiter, but am now. I dont know if that would make a difference?
Also, how does the military view me, as we are not married? currently, I am covered under his insurance, etc., would that stay the same?

You're not a spouse so you're not entitled to anything, sorry. Can't comment on civilian insurance

Again, he needs to talk with a recruiter. Have him or you write down all the questions you have and have him bring it with him

[Lisa 23]

How about filling out your profile....and I realize you're only trying to help, but if your boyfriend has any questions about joining the military, let him ask for himself.

[TurnNBurn2011]

I have told him to go talk to someone, but for one thing, he works 2 jobs at the moment, plus is going to school, so he doesnt have the time, and for another, he says he "doesnt want to go talk to someone and get excited about going but not be able to because of money, or other things", which I honestly think is a bull reason, I think he is having too much fun with his "extra-curricular activities" and doesnt want to leave them for something he has supposedly wanted for the better part of his 21 years. He needs to figure a lot of stuff out, and he can't do that if he doesnt get answers for the questions he has, and doesnt do the things that he says he wants to. He's gonna have a lot of regrets, and I'm gonna hate to see him in 10 years, looking back and wanting to re-do the previous decade of his life.

[USNAviator]

I have told him to go talk to someone, but for one thing, he works 2 jobs at the moment, plus is going to school, so he doesnt have the time, and for another, he says he "doesnt want to go talk to someone and get excited about going but not be able to because of money, or other things", which I honestly think is a bull reason, I think he is having too much fun with his "extra-curricular activities" and doesnt want to leave them for something he has supposedly wanted for the better part of his 21 years. He needs to figure a lot of stuff out, and he can't do that if he doesnt get answers for the questions he has, and doesnt do the things that he says he wants to. He's gonna have a lot of regrets, and I'm gonna hate to see him in 10 years, looking back and wanting to re-do the previous decade of his life.

You seem to be the mature one in this equation. Doesn't sound to me as if he's very motivated to join. And Softballcatch is correct, he's the one who should be on here asking the questions but I suspect we won't see him anytime soon. Thank you for your profile

Good luck to you and your children

[TurnNBurn2011]

I dont have much of a choice BUT to be the mature one in this eqation. I had to grow up when i had my kids. He thinks he is grown up, but really, he isnt. Quite honestly, we arent even together, but "boyfriend" is much easier than attempting to explain it. I actually want to enlist, unfortunately, the Marines wont take me, but the Army would. But according to him, if I were to do that, he would hold it against me, and blah blah, blah. I am not very happy with him right now, but we need to be on at least decent terms for our kids; I grew up with my parents hating each other, and thats no fun for the child to be in the middle. Plus, I dont know if/how things would work being that I am a single mother of 2. I suppose it would all depend on if I had familial support, and someone willing to be named a guardian of my kids?? who knows. I tested high enough to do medical, and that is where my career goals ultimately lie anyway. Would I get the same training if I were in a reserve branch of the military as if I were active?

[TurnNBurn2011]

pretty much. I guess I just still want to think that there is some good in him seeing as he fathered my 2 children. which makes me a dumb girl basically lol

[TurnNBurn2011]

well, the path he is on, his future isnt gonna last long. and I am concerned cuz whether on not I like it, i am linked to him for life. so what happens to him, affects me. I am the "planning" type. So if i know that something is gonna happen, I need to be prepared for it. It not, i mentally implode when said event occurs. plus, the way he is acting, I need to be able to support myself 100% on my own, because quite frankly, I can't depend on him at this point.

[USNAviator]

I dont have much of a choice BUT to be the mature one in this eqation. I had to grow up when i had my kids. He thinks he is grown up, but really, he isnt. Quite honestly, we arent even together, but "boyfriend" is much easier than attempting to explain it. I actually want to enlist, unfortunately, the Marines wont take me, but the Army would. But according to him, if I were to do that, he would hold it against me, and blah blah, blah. I am not very happy with him right now, but we need to be on at least decent terms for our kids; I grew up with my parents hating each other, and thats no fun for the child to be in the middle. Plus, I dont know if/how things would work being that I am a single mother of 2. I suppose it would all depend on if I had familial support, and someone willing to be named a guardian of my kids?? who knows. I tested high enough to do medical, and that is where my career goals ultimately lie anyway. Would I get the same training if I were in a reserve branch of the military as if I were active?


You're asking a question about the Army which I doubt anyone on here can answer. I'll give you the same advice I gave re. your "boy friend". Make an appointment to see an Army recruiter. But ultimately you know you have to do what's best for your children.

[USNAviator]

well, the path he is on, his future isnt gonna last long. and I am concerned cuz whether on not I like it, i am linked to him for life. so what happens to him, affects me. I am the "planning" type. So if i know that something is gonna happen, I need to be prepared for it. It not, i mentally implode when said event occurs. plus, the way he is acting, I need to be able to support myself 100% on my own, because quite frankly, I can't depend on him at this point.

Since you're not "together" is he paying Child Support? If not better get that taken care of.

[USNAviator]

Excellent advice, Dan, as always. That's correct---you have to figure this stuff out, independently of your boyfriend, and it looks like you recognize that.

Thanks Dave you're not so bad yourself but I don't want to hijack this one. This young lady seems to be squared away in most areas. Funny how becoming a Mom can do that

[TurnNBurn2011]

that last bit that you have in red was more of a general military question. or do they not all operate the same? back to being a dumb girl...good thing im not blonde and this isnt a regular thing. i guess what Im trying to get at is "do reserves get the same training as their active counterparts?"

[TurnNBurn2011]

Thanks Dave you're not so bad yourself but I don't want to hijack this one. This young lady seems to be squared away in most areas. Funny how becoming a Mom can do that



Too bad it doesn't work that way for (all) men and becoming a father.

[USNAviator]

that last bit that you have in red was more of a general military question. or do they not all operate the same? back to being a dumb girl...good thing im not blonde and this isnt a regular thing. i guess what Im trying to get at is "do reserves get the same training as their active counterparts?"

In the Corps as enlisted reserve you do get the specific MOS you choose and you get training. As an active enlisted, you're only guaranteed a field such as Intel but not a specific job, such as analyst.

Is that correct Dave? And I have no idea how the Army works

[USNAviator]

Too bad it doesn't work that way for (all) men and becoming a father.


There is an old saying and since I'm old I can say it......pretty much any man can become a father, it takes a special man to be a Dad.

[USNAviator]

Dan, I know more about the Chinese alphabet than I know about the Corps today, as far as MOS goes etc and Reserves v Active Duty, but there are a lot on here who know the ins and outs of all of that.


LOL.....ding hao Dave

[Sgt Leprechaun]

Yes...everyone gets identical training. Basically you are on active duty for training until the training is over, then you go into your reserve unit.