View Full Version : The Bachelor, can you believe those women?

10-16-03, 11:01 AM
In a household full of women, this show appears on one or more of our TV's every once in awhile. It was on last night, with a cast of women, crying real tears.

Women desperate for attention crying because they weren't chosen. Gosh, oh, my gosh, they were all beginning to fall in love with the bachelor and all believed they had something special going with him and that he was going to pick-them. Get real...

This is a reality TV show with no reality behind it.

Bob Guiney, star of ABC's The Bachelor 4, tried to use his new-found fame to relaunch his singing career. Apparently, it didn't work, because Bob has now pulled his CD, entitled 3 Sides, from Amazon.

The Bachelor: A Musical Parody "
it's that time again, so just sit right down and enjoy a re-cap of The Bachelor as sung by Bob and the Bachelorettes.

Part One The Voting that was as intense as the California Recall Election.

It’s My Party and I’ll cry if I want to By Lesely Gore
As sung by the Bachelorettes:

It's our party and we’ll cry if we want to
Cry if we want to, cry if we want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Nobody knows who will get to
go out with Bob, but everyone thinks it’ll
be them we have to vote for somebody
other then ourselves. Who will it be?

It's our party and we'll cry if we want to
Cry if we want to, cry if we want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

we've got no reason to smile
our tears are falling for miles
But leave us alone for a while
we’re all mad at Lee-Ann,
She gets a date a-lone
though she was least
compatible with B-O-B.

It's our party and we'll cry if we want to
Cry if we want to, cry if we want to
You would cry too if you found Meredith got to
go without on a date with Bob without you.

Part Two: The Drama, oh the Drama of “Please stop filming me”

Big Girls Don’t Cry by Frankie Valley and The Four Seasons, Sung by the Bachelorette’s and Bob

All of The Bachelorettes:
Big girls don’t cry, big girls don't cry

Big girls don't cry (they don't cry)

(Silly girl) My mama called
(Silly girl) and we all cried cause my grandma died.

(Silly girl) But my mama said to my surprise
Big girls don't cry, go on your date with Bob.
The Bachelorettes
Big girls don't cry (they don't cry)
Big girls don't cry (who said they don't cry)

Bob to Meredith
Baby I was cruel (I was cruel) I made you ride a horse
Baby I'm a fool (I'm such a fool) I made you eat an oyster. (my oh my)
Baby, it turned out ok cause you were with me. (my oh my)
le-ann to Tracy and the girls in the Kitchen
(Silly girls) Shame on you said cause you
said I didn’t get along with y’all
Whadda ya mean? I’m here for Bob, not y’all
(Silly girls) Shame on you, you’re mad cause
you know I’m most compatible with Bob
(Silly girls) Shame on you, you used to like me,
till Bob kissed me, makes me wanna cry

All of the Bachelorettes
Big girls do cry, (my oh my) What it is about
the Bachelor that makes the tears fly?
Big girls don't cry (they don't cry)
Big girls don't cry (that's just an alibi)

We interrupt our oldies broadcast to give SurvivorBlows this breaking news: The second date box has arrived at the Bachelorette’s house. The first group date includes: Mary, Misty and Kelly Ann. The date is a Jamming in Jammies. We go now to Chris, our roving reporting and host who is already at the location of the date: “Yes, Buckeyegirl, things are getting swingin’ here. We go to Bob and Mary who are singing
Open Arms in which Bob was overheard saying: “If you don’t like Journey, you’re a damn liar.” Buckeyegirl agrees wholeheartedly with Bob.

Part three: Jammin to the Oldies

Open Arms-Journey by Journey
As sung by Mary, Bob and Kelly Jo

Lying beside Mary, Misty and Kelly Jo
Here in the dark, singing Karaoke
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
Let’s sail on together to the Rose Ceremony together

Kelly Jo
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say, I love how you kiss me
So here I am with open arms for Bob on
this bed, Hoping all the girls will see
What Bobs love means to me...
Open arms
Living without you
Living alone

Girls Just Want To Have Fun
By Cyndi Lauper As Sung by The Bachelorettes and Bob

Chorus: Misty, Kelly-Jo, Mary
Girls Just want to have fun
Oh mother dear we're the fortunate ones
cause we’re on a date with Bob.
And girls they want to have fun
Oh we just want to have fun with B-O-B.

We are wondering what the other girls are doing
Oh Bobby dear you know you're still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have--
That's all they really want
Some fun, that’s why I’m Kissing
Misty and Kelly Jo on this date
Girls-- they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to be kissed

Mary, Misty and Kelly Jo
Oh girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have

Meredith, Karin, Tracy

That's all they really want
so why is Lee-Ann making such a fuss
When the working day is done
all we want to do is shut her up
Oh girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
that’s why we really hate Lee-Ann...

Part Four: Confessionals, Why we are in lvoe

Ode To Bob from The Bachelorette’s

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
By Elizabeth Barrett Browning as recited by the Bachelorette’s

Let us count the ways.
We love thee to the depth and breadth and height
Your kisses turn us to mush.
We love thee freely, as we strive for a rose
We love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
We love the with passion, your kisses make our
hearts pound. We love thee with a love I seemed to
lose if we do not get a rose.

Part Three

As the last commercials come to a close, we the viewers, wait breathlessly for the promised cat fights and for jealousy to raise it’s ugly head, and for the rose ceremony to finally take place. What girl will leave with out a rose? As The Bachelor comes to a close, we see a limo pull up to the house, and give a surprised Karin with the third date box telling her it is worth “One Million Dollars.”

A bad parody of Gilligan’s Island Closing theme song.)

So this was the tale of the bachelorettes,
They're here for a long, long time,
They'll have to make the best of things,
It's an uphill climb.

The host Chris and the Bachelor too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
In the tropic island nest.

No phone, no lights no motor cars,
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As primative as can be.

So join us here each week my friends,
You're sure to get a smile,
From ten stranded Bachelorettes,
Here on "Bobby’s Isle.

10-16-03, 11:17 AM
he dismisses the women he doesn't want by not giving them a rose.


What happened to the good old way?

Just email them...LOL

Super Dave
10-16-03, 11:21 AM
I'm PROUD to say I have never watch a second of any of these reality shows...

10-16-03, 11:30 AM
Cook I beat that system.....I have enough TV's in the house that we all can watch we we want.......LOL;)



10-16-03, 01:31 PM
I hate those reality shows :mad:

10-16-03, 01:40 PM
The more crap they pump out, the more I watch the Discovery and History Channel! The only "reality" show I occasionally watch is Joe Schmoe, only because it makes fun of the rest of the pack.

10-16-03, 05:50 PM
I like to watch "Mythbusters" on Discovery, as well as "American Choppers"....always a good time.