View Full Version : My husband wants to re-join
01-13-11, 03:48 PM
My husband served as a military police officer/physical security specialist from 04-08, we have been out for almost 3 years. I married my husband right before he left for boot camp and have been together ever since. When my husband got out in 08, we figured it was the best decision for our family, we had 2 daughters at the time. He never deployed during his time in but knew it was a possibility so we wanted out. Now that it has been a few years I can see the the Marine in my husband still is very much with him. Since getting out my husband has went through a few jobs and we also had another child. Although my husbands makes an income that can support our family, his dreams of being a Marine again are stronger then ever. He has almost completed his degree in criminal justice but does not feel that is the right fit for him.
Looking back at my time as a Marine wife, i have to admit that I did not get along with the marine corps at all. I destined myself to be miserable, and I was. However, now being more mature and realizing what the corps has to offer I truly want the chance to make the most out of it.
Im hesitant, however, to go back to the marine corps. I still fear deployments and Im not sure how I would deal witht that. My family is against the decision to go back in and they break my heart and make me feel guilty for taking the kids away from them. And thats another story all together. what about the kids? Our oldest is now old enough to understand what is going on, how would they react to moving away, or if daddy has to be gone for 9 months or longer?
And then there is the guilt that i feel. What if something would happen to him, how could i forgive myself for agreeing to go back in? Could I live with myself if the worst case scenerio would happen?
I feel like my mind is being torn in a million directions. When I listen to my husband he puts reason back in my head. He talks about the benefits of retirement, school funds for the kids, etc. I just dont want this decision to be a selfish one.
Aside from that, the process of getting back in has been less then easy.
We are going on 4 months dealing with recruitiors and all the paperwork. We have done everything they have told us to do and still no answers. My hubby's re-enlistment code was RE-1A, shouldnt have any problems, yet it is taking forever and the recruitor almost seems to be avoiding us. He is never at the office, is busy or we get voice mail!!
If anyone has any advice from a spouse standpoint or anyone have any ideas about prior service re-enlistment, I would love to hear comments. Thanks!!
01-14-11, 06:49 AM
I know quite a few Marines trying to get back in on Active Duty and they have all come back denied because they are not taking prior service on Active duty right now. Could try reserves and getting a Active reserves billet but thats something that would have to be discussed with a prior service recruiter.
01-14-11, 10:41 AM
it was very wierd reading this topic because its pretty much our situation except im fully 110% behind my husband getting back in. No doubts in my mind at all!
We've been out for ooo 2 years, and he's inthe process of getting into the AR program since Active isn't taking anyone back. AR is just like active you just train reservists same benefits, you just are more likely to be on a reserve base.
My biggest suggestion is to BE PATIENT lol we have been trying to find our avenue to get back in for over a year. In October we talked to the PSR and learned about the AR program and have been trying to get into that for a while now, well since October. The people at the reserve base here aren't the brightest and i ended up emailing HQMC lol got in touch with a SgtMaj and Gunny, and they've been working their &ss off to get us back in. We're finally at the end stages, but i swear everyday something comes up...another "issue" we can see the finish line, its taking longer than expected but it'll all be worth it in the end.
My daughters are now 7 & 5 and understand about the Marines, we explain it to them, prepare them for it, etc. Ultimately its a choice not for self fish reasons at all, but to better your families life, better your husband, and serve the country. My husband has only ever been his happiest at a job when he was in, he's a Marine and that's that it took us getting out to appreciate what we had when we were in. We let a dumb carreer planner make us upset, and we made a decision based off emotions which in turn was the wrong choice for our family.
If this is something you want to move forward with, talk to the PSR and be ready for a VERY stressful game lol and it will take several months as well, but really if its something you want that bad the amount of time doesn't matter nor does the fight you have to put up, because the end result is so sweet :)
01-14-11, 11:10 AM
Thanks for responding everyone. I wanted to mention that I do support my husbands decision but I'm doing so cautiously because it is such a big decision. We have looked into AT but in order to stay local my hubby would have to change his job and he doesn't want to do that, he could keep his job but would have to go to a reserve station 6 hours away but if active duty is not an option we will consider that.
01-14-11, 11:14 AM
yea my husband has to get a new MOS as well, and in the AR whatever job you get..you keep until you retire. Ofcourse he's LOVE to keep his primary MOS but its just not gonna happen.
01-14-11, 03:41 PM
I think my hubby wouldn't mind changing his mos so if it comes to that we will see. We heard from the recruitor today and we were told that they submitted his enlistment package and that it will get reviewed after the 15th, this will take about a month and then they are suppose to let us know if they are going to send him to MEPS or not. The recruitor said if he gets to MEPS then it merma they are interested in him and the Outlook is good for going active. Does this sound like what you guys went through? The recruitor made it seen like if he gets to MEPS then chances are pretty good, I don't want to get my hopes up though.
01-14-11, 03:49 PM
lol my husband went to MEPS in oct. and his re-entry was RE-A1 as well and has a Letter of Reccomendation from a SgtMaj and it still has taken this long. what our issue has been right now is his tattoos werent page 11ed and grandfathered in, we been dealin with that for the past week. just be prepared to be patient ;)
01-14-11, 04:16 PM
Wow, October, geez, this process is killing me, lol. I am not a very patient person and I like to have a plan for everything so this is hard for me. Luckily my hubby does not have any tattoos so that won't be an issue. Is that the only thing preventing you guys from moving on to the next step?
01-14-11, 05:17 PM
its not preventing it, its just a touchy area right now. they're only taking the best of the best because they have so many to choose from. then one MOS will open and we'll go for that then it gets taken and we have to try for something else, just getting his package to VA took 5 weeks...and that was SUPPOSE to be a priority. we just keep hitting walls left and right. But we're persistant, if we we not we would of NEVER get back in lol
01-14-11, 05:26 PM
ugh, this is sooo frustrating!! We knew this was gonna be a long process but I didnt realize it would be like this! Is the VA the first place the package goes too? My husbands recruiter said he sent everything in, does that meen its at the VA or is there other places it goes first. I have been reading on here that most people run into some sort of problem when trying to get back in...my husband is still in IRR, will that make this any easier?
01-14-11, 05:34 PM
so is mine with over a year left on it. package cant be done until he does MEPS again, that's one of the first things that will need to be done. Then his PSR has to have the package all done, to finances, fill out any waivers etc. then once a spot your husband qualifies for opens up, you submit for it, PSR has to send it to his higher ups in his unit, once they say ok, it gets submitted over to RAM (who are like monitors...or maybe they ARE the monitor lol) once they look at everything, get all documents they want, they'll call with options.
i dont think there's an "easy" way. they're very picky right now lol
01-14-11, 05:45 PM
hmm, ok so when the recruitor said he sent everything in that didnt meen his actual package? Thats what i was thinking originally but what he said today made it seem otherwise. So what he must have sent in was the medical records and that indicates whether he goes to meps or not? We have all the paperwork filled out, copies of birth certificated, ss cards, finacial statement, letters of reccomondation, etc, so hopefully thats all set...do you have any idea why it takes so long after meps to actually submit the package? Does their MOS have anything to do with it?
01-14-11, 05:47 PM
its just the name of the game...hurry up and WAIT! :) just be persistant thats all you can really do. best of luck to ya ;) hopefully your PSR is a little more on the ball than our is lol
01-14-11, 05:52 PM
I hope so to, lol! Thanks for all the info, i hope things work out for you guys too!!
01-15-11, 06:09 AM
National Guard would be the way to go for him. Being married for seventeen years I have the urge to join back up and leave as well.
My husband and I are in a "similar" boat ladies. Except he is a reservist, still on active orders from his deployemnt. We have wanted to be active since the day he signed his paper work. But do to the quota of his recruiter and our own ignorance...here we are today. We decided to wait till he had a deployment under his belt to even precede with trying to go active duty. Well here we are almost 5 years into his 6 year contract and the Marine Corp is supposidly cutting back and not allowing PSEP for FY11. So we are currently working on getting him on RA for the next 6months to a year, with hopes that FY12 will be a little better. There should be a lot of Active Duty finishing their contracts and hopefully opening up more spaces. We to have the help of a SgtMaj on our side. But this has been a long road with very little light at the end some days. I can only pray that if active duty is where we are meant to be it will all work out. I try and stay as involved in the process as possible. Its gotten us farther than my husband would have thought. Network your rear off. Good Luck to you both.