View Full Version : Relationship
Here is how it is. I've had an attraction for this friend but kept it to myself as she was with somebody else. Her entire family are close friends with my parents, she is a little older than I am and I actually graduated High school with her little brother who happens to have earned his Eagle Globe and Anchor before me.
Recently her mother died and she decided she wasn't happy with that guy (he happens to be sort of my friend too). She admitted an attraction towards me after that. The problem is that I intend to spend the next 4 years as Infantry and she plans on moving and going on her little journey to find life experience, like my intention of getting experience, and we don't think it fair to start dating. We have kind of agreed to keep in contact as best we can and when we are both really on our feet with life experience after my time serving see if things are meant to be.
She does have a son which doesn't bother me as I agree that if I want a girl I want whatever comes with her and can help her raise a child as my own even if he isn't technically. I am not all that concerned with staying open so that I can use being a Marine to pick up chicks, as it isn't very appealing to me. Although She doesn't want me to feel strapped down from doing that. On a scale of 1-10 what kind of chances do you Marines find in anything working out? 4 Years is a long time to wait.
josephd
01-12-11, 12:32 PM
0
I don't know this girl and although you didn't give many details on here I can tell you right now she is nothing but problems. She has a kid, mom died, and isn't happy with her BF/life. She needs to worry about herself and her kid. Same should go for you, worry about yourself and your soon to be career as a Marine.
SGT7477
01-12-11, 12:48 PM
Don't worry just earn our title, Jody will take care of her, Semper Fidelis.
She is the kind of girl that is one of the guys, she is always calm and relaxed, she is really the most chill and balanced girl I've ever met. She is from an Ex-Polygamist family. She is done with her boyfriend because he has given up on him self and has no ambition to go anywhere besides his brothers run down condemned trailer. He stays at home and plays video games instead of working and neglects her and his child.
I will stay focused and let nothing get in my way of earning my place as a Marine.
GerryBlaze
01-12-11, 01:30 PM
Go out there and earn the Honor of becoming one of the finest Bro.Life is short and if she's the one you both will cross paths at some point.There are plenty of girls out there but only one opportunity to become a Marine.
Life in the infantry is tough on family and relationships - period.
Many folks struggle with it, and many marriages / relationships end... some survive. Even during "peacetime" relationships are stressed and deployment cycles are high. Add combat deployments to that and it only gets tougher.
My advice - the Marines with the posts above are spot on. Focus first on becoming a Marine. Then, you need to put the bulk of your energies and time into becoming a competent infantryman. To be a good infantryman requires dedication - physical fitness, study, attitude, concentration.... it's all there.
As far as maintaining a relationship during that time - keep it in perspective. Nothing at this point will be as important as becoming the best infantryman you can. The stakes for yourself and the Marines around you are too high to be distracted.
Devil1087
01-12-11, 04:00 PM
Stay friends with her, write to her, call her, facebook, whatever if you really care. Maybe she'll still be available after you're out go for it. Or even start to get serious towards your last year in. You'll kill the relationship as infantry though, you'll be ****ed off/drunk all of the time.
Old Marine
01-12-11, 04:46 PM
At this ime in you life you do not need to be strapped down with a girl friend.
Rocky C
01-12-11, 05:12 PM
All Great Advice.
Stay focused with your task at hand.
Good Luck to you.
HOWARDROARK3043
01-12-11, 07:01 PM
there are a million ladies with a million stories,,,,, just like fishing,,,, catch them look at them for a minute and throw them back,,,,,,,,,0---take a picture or two for your memories....
Sgt Leprechaun
01-12-11, 07:09 PM
Dere Abbie.....
Dude, just worry about Recruit Training. That will keep you busy enough.
Marine84
01-12-11, 07:26 PM
When you join the Corps, you're gonna drop her like yesterday's news anyway.
Sgt Leprechaun
01-12-11, 07:35 PM
We should do a "Dere Marine84" thread!
You could be our 'Miss lonely hearts"!!!
By the power of MOD...make it so!
Thank you Marines, for your advise, and jokes.
Sgt Leprechaun
01-13-11, 05:22 PM
GREAT attitude. Glad you took this in the spirit in which it was intended.
I haven't been able to be angered even when IF people intend to rile me, especially not from a joke. I am always relaxed and composed, I just hope it will serve me well in boot camp and on deployment.
Zulu 36
01-13-11, 06:06 PM
I haven't been able to be angered even when IF people intend to rile me, especially not from a joke. I am always relaxed and composed, I just hope it will serve me well in boot camp and on deployment.
Well, it's good to have a sense of humor in the Corps. Being a Marine is definitely a contact sport.
Marine84
01-13-11, 06:12 PM
Who's joking?
Just because it may be true doesn't mean it isn't a joke right? The true jokes are the best ones.
SGT7477
01-13-11, 07:53 PM
GREAT attitude. Glad you took this in the spirit in which it was intended.
Looks like he could be a fine Marine, Semper Fidelis.
Phantom Blooper
01-13-11, 08:00 PM
In your young life.....stay focused on the prize.....then join the 4F Club after you get out of school and hit the fleet.
Ha, Sir, I am a romantic at heart. Even if not for myself. I wouldn't even try for a girl that I'd have to leave. Part of why I want to fight is for the lady that I manage to get tangled with for the rest of my life.
Tennessee Top
02-01-11, 05:05 PM
Your life is about to get complicated enough...you do not need any baggage that a serious relationship/marriage/kid would add. I know you care about this girl but you MUST consider she is looking for some stability for her and her child and there is a lot of stability (in her eyes) in a steady military paycheck and free medical benefits. In case you are not aware, there are plenty (too many) of lower enlisted families out there on food stamps waiting to qualify for base housing and barely making it paycheck-to-paycheck. Who wants to live like that at your age?
Another thing to consider...once you get married, you throw the opportunity for certain "B" billets like embassy duty away (Sgt's and below cannot be married on embassy duty). So, not only do you complicate your life, you also limit your career opportunities in the Marine Corps. Something to think about.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said anything about marriage, not for a long time. Doesn't mean I will give up on her, I'll see what kind of relationship we have long distance. If it doesn't work out then we will always be friends, but not working out is a test of time. Where she is and I am at years from now is a determining factor.
So basically any girl I've ever had an interest in showed and interest back, led me on then wanted to be friends. Love isn't for me, the only thing I have to focus on now in my life is healing before boot camp, and becoming a Marine.
Lisa 23
02-21-11, 06:50 PM
Taviah...you're only 20 years old. Don't be in such a rush to get tied down to one girlfriend now. You have plenty of life ahead of you.
Enjoy your life, and when you make it through boot camp, MCT, your MOS School and get to your first duty station.......enjoy your time in the Marine Corps and make the most of it.
USNAviator
02-21-11, 06:58 PM
So basically any girl I've ever had an interest in showed and interest back, led me on then wanted to be friends. Love isn't for me, the only thing I have to focus on now in my life is healing before boot camp, and becoming a Marine.
The right girl will come along, trust me. Right now as SoftballCatch says, focus on the here and now. Achieve your present goals and get some seniority under your belt. You'll be OK