Please help

[STPatterson]

Ok, I'm going to be straight to the point. For my entire life I have wanted to join the Army. In the past year I met with a marine recruiter, and my opinion totally swayed to the Marines. I have never wanted to do anything more in my life, ever. A few months back I told my mom that I wanted to enlist in the Marines (i was originally going to go to Army ROTC at UGA) and she hated the idea. She wanted me to do a year of college at least before enlisting in the Corps....so I said ok, seems fair enough, right?

Now, part 2. Last spring one of my closest friends enlisted and he just graduated yesterday. Seeing him graduate into something that i want to do so badely, and seeing how happy and proud people are for him makes me feel mor than ever that I want to join. The problem is that I told me mom I would do a year of college. So now I am stuck. I don't know what to do. I know I want to join more than anything, but I want to make my folks proud and happy too. How can I tell my mom that I want to go ahead and join? Any help would be great...sorry for the long read. Thanks!

PS-If I am in the wrong area...sorry. I just joined today.

:flag:

[STPatterson]

Thanks for the help...I'll look at the old threads and hear everybody out.

[USNAviator]

STPatterson, I just PMd you also.
There are two guys reading this now, Butch and Dan and please listen to whatever they have to say. They always give good advice. Not to put them on the spot, but if they respond to your question, please listen to them.


Gee why not put the pressure on Dave....;)

Your a senior in high school, your 17. All well and good but if you have a chance to go to college, take it. You can go the NROTC (make sure whatever college you matriculate at offers NROTC) and possibly earn a scholarship. Or you can go the PLC route, summers during your college career. Or you can wait, graduate and still go OCS

The world in now an open book for you. You are going to make mistakes and bad decisions. I can appreciate honoring your Mom but ultimately, it's your life. Time to start living it

BTW, Dave's no slouch in the advice department either as are many others on here. Good luck to you

[STPatterson]

But I don't really feel I want to go to college. I know it's best for me but I don't want to. At least right now. I know the Marines is what I want to do. It's just hard with my folks is all

Thanks for the advice to the two of you

[USNAviator]

Well said, Commander----but our advice depends in part on what WE did at your age. I dropped out of high school at 16, had to have my mom sign for me, was at Parris Island two weeks after I turned 17, so I could have cared less about college in those days. I didn't even care about high school! So my advice is colored by those experiences when your age.
But Dan is right, if you have a chance to go to college, take it. But if it is not for you right now, I understand that.
And again, on the subject of your mom, very very few moms are going to say oh you want to go into harm's way in the toughest outfit in the world? Oh that's fine son, great. Just what I want you to do! --LOL, that hardly ever happens. Mostly it is OH NO, not you, not now, you have your whole life ahead of you-----so it is your decision, and you will do all right if you obey one rule---never ever make any hasty decision, based on what friends say, or what your parents say, or on what anyone says.....after you have thought it out completely, maybe even making a list on paper of pros and cons, but be careful of making hasty decisions.


:thumbup::thumbup:

[Respectloyalty]

Hmmm...
Are you responsible?
Do you strive to better yourself and to "walk the walk"?
Do you give out false promises?
Is the Marine Corps not going to be around in a year?
When you tell someone your going to do something and make a promise of it, you keep it brother. Every marine wishes they had a year of college atleast already done...you'll have no regrets waiting a year...but you will regret not going to school in a year if you jump the gun...

[SGTBrentG]

First off I agree with the Commander. Secondly, a man is only as good as his word.

[SGTBrentG]

Haven't you ever promised your buddies you would have a few beers with them, only to not feel too well that next night? I wonder if all promises are equally binding. If you say I promise to do better and you don't, then does that make you not a man of your word? Generally speaking, obviously we honor our promises, but in this young man's post, there was nothing that sounded like a promise, to me.

I respect your opinion, but a promise to have a beer with your buddy isn't the same as making your mother a promise, in my opinion. I happen to place my mother on a pedestal and if I ever "promised" her something, it would happen. I honestly don't think there is a wrong answer here as long as the young man has a conversation with his mother. But then again......not everybody feels the same.

[TunTvrnWarrior]

Nope, you gave your word. Your word is your bond. Your word should be gold. My suggestion to you is go finish two years and have your associates. Go in to the Corps, and take courses during your enlistment while the Marines pay for it. By the end of your first enlistment you will know if you want to make a career or not, plus you will have a degree by then if you play it right and you will have much more choices.

[SGTBrentG]

I think a promise is a promise all the time or none of the time, so I don't see the difference between promising to have a beer with your buddies and a promise to do this or that, if a promise is your word and you gave your word, then it is always binding and you cannot pick and choose which promises are promises.
But in this case, there was no promise made. The word was not only not used in the original post, but the two quotes I cited were the only ones used, and it doesn't rise to the level of a promise as far as I can see.
But how can we distinguish between real promises and those that are not so real? We can't. That's why I'm saying that if someone promised someone they would dig ditches the rest of their life, they now have to, as a man is only as good as his word.

No worries Dave. Perhaps I misinterpreted and should have stayed out of it. Semper Fi bro!

[Respectloyalty]

What kind of guy are you if you have to say the word "promise" for anything you say to mean something?


Alright done

[SGTBrentG]

For instance, you said you were done, so if you post one more time, you just broke your promise and are a hypocrite. Under your own definition of "promise" you just went back on one.

Promises, promises.......:D

[STPatterson]

I never promised my mother everything. Although I did give her my word I feel differently now and I think that overall and with given time she will understand. It's my life so I will do what I want to do. This thread was about how to tell her remember guys? Not about the morality of the situation. Although I appreciate the opinions, I am going to enlist. As I said I just needed advice for the madre. That's my two cents, being my thread and all.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

Enough of this now. Either answer the kids question or MOVE ON.

Moving on....

It is what it is and only YOU can live with yourself. I promised my mother I wouldn't drink or run with bad women.....well, it was a nice thought.

Now, either man up and go talk to a recruiter, or just do what you have been doing. Stop twiddling around. Asking us for advice is well and good, nothing wrong with that, but only you can live with yourself, and look back on yourself five years from now going 'woulda/shoulda/coulda'. Whichever choice you make, STICK with it.

[Respectloyalty]

Post 19 is rather hard to understand just ignore it

[BGW]

You mind as well just go for it, the only real purpose for doing one year of college would to go in as a contract PFC. Other then that there would be not much point in waiting if your goal is the Marine Corps. I did two years of college and then decided to join the Marine Corps just because I lost interest in what I was studying for. True I have over 60 credits done already so when or if I EAS i can easily go into college and get a degree faster. But if I could do it all over again I would have just went right into the Marines as soon as I graduated high school.

As for telling your mother that you will wait, its up to you. She asked you of that because she thinks you will lose interest in joining all together which she might be right. So bottom line its up to you on how you really want to live your life.

If you do end up joining and getting through boot camp, just remember its all about what kind of perspective you take. It can either suck most of the time or really ****ing suck all of the time, depending if you take a negative or positive perspective on things, will reflect what kind of experiance you will have in the Marine Corps.

Thats just my thoughts on things.

[SGTBrentG]

I never promised my mother everything. Although I did give her my word I feel differently now and I think that overall and with given time she will understand. It's my life so I will do what I want to do. This thread was about how to tell her remember guys? Not about the morality of the situation. Although I appreciate the opinions, I am going to enlist. As I said I just needed advice for the madre. That's my two cents, being my thread and all.

Didn't promise your mother but did give her your word? What is the difference? It's fine that you feel differently now and you probably didn't need advice from this thread. I am happy for you that you are going to enlist and wish you nothing but the best of luck, but how would anyone here know how to tell your mother that you had changed your mind after "giving your word"? Again....a mans bond is his "word". I am not telling you that you have to go to college or you are nobody or have broken a "promise", but this something that can only be rectified between you and your mother. Nobody's interpretation of "your word" means anything unless it's the interpretation of you and your mother. There is no indication of your relationship with your mother. Get off the internet and go talk to your mom.....seriously! Good luck!